If you’re planning on running onto the field in the middle of a major league baseball game, a few rules need to be followed.
1) Know that you’re likely going to be caught, arrested, and taken to jail. So if one of the security guards who’s employed for the sole purpose of not allowing what you’re planning to do catches you, don’t make a fuss. Take your punishment like the real man or woman you are.
2) Plan your escape route. Know where you’re headed and get there as fast as you can. The security guards oftentimes are not fleet of foot, and yes, you can beat them if you have a plan.
3) Selfie everything.
So, give credit to 19-year-old Justin Buchanan, who did everything correctly when he interrupted Wednesday’s Cincinnati Reds-Chicago Cubs game and then got away with everything scot-free (thus far).
Take a look at his video selfie as he pumps himself up, takes off across the outfield, says hello to Cincinnati centerfielder Billy Hamilton, and then leaps over the wall to make his El Chapo-like escape.
As Deadspin notes, Buchanan wasn’t preparing his stunt in top secret. On his Twitter account, which is protected, he wrote status updates like “Stay Tuned” and “Here goes nothing.”
Though Buchanan—whose biggest mistake, other than outing himself to the local media, was to film his adventure vertically—doesn’t show the ending (he apparently tossed his phone over the fence before he scooted over it), others captured what eventually occurred.
— The Donney (@NDD_ESQUIRE) July 23, 2015
“You know, I don’t think it’d be a big deal,” Buchanan told Indianapolis’ ABC affiliate. “It’s not like I did anything to, you know, I didn’t do anything to Billy Hamilton when I ran past him. I told him ‘What’s up.’ What he said back was not the nicest, but I mean, it’s all just a joke. I don’t think I really interrupted anything. I was just kind of having fun, I guess.”
As for the consequences of his action, he said, “I mean, I did it, you’ve got to live with the consequences, but I don’t think I’ll necessarily regret it. I don’t think I’ll be in all that much of trouble, at least I hope not. I think it was just kind of something fun to do.”
And awfully fun to watch.
The Cincinnati police, though, disagree. According to the Cincinnati Enquirer, the police department will issue a misdemeanor arrest warrant on a trespassing charge.
And while Buchanan’s escape was impressive, it pales in comparison to this one.