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If cats were bigger, they’d kill you in a second.
Perhaps the cruelest trick nature ever played on one of its creatures was making cats too small to do what we all know they really want to do: kill humans. But that doesn’t mean they won’t try.
A Stamford, Connecticut, man recently feared his feisty feline enough to call 911, and the call is peppered with comments to which any cat lover can relate.
“My cat was getting too aggressive, and I was inside, and then he attacked me in my leg and he bite me,” the man told a 911 dispatcher.
The cat, which had apparently had a baby the previous night and was in protective mode, kept the man from entering his house for roughly three hours before he decided he needed emergency personnel to intervene.
If you’ve ever seen a cat completely lose it, you can understand the concern the man felt as he and his wife sat in their car awaiting the arrival of police.
Cats are equipped with the same urge to kill as their super-sized brethren, lions and tigers. They’re likely just waiting for your most vulnerable moment so they can move in and take you out. And sometimes they succeed in at least intimidating their nervous owners. You know in the instant you connect with that blank, dead stare of the common tabby that it’s thinking, “If only I weren’t so small…”
The 7.5 pound Stamford cat eventually let his timid owners back into the house after the police paid a visit and gave the all-clear. We wonder what the expert negotiators said to the cat to make it spare the lives of its humans.
But now they know that, in the ongoing battle between cat and man, the sharpest claws will always reign victorious—or they would if they were big enough to kill.
Photo via storem/Flickr (CC BY SA 2.0)
Feliks Garcia was a reporter and essayist whose work for the Daily Dot focused on social justice issues, internet culture, and the Rock. He was a staff writer for the Independent when he passed away in February 2017 after suffering a heart attack. He was 33.