Chilling video of yet another fatal police shooting of an unarmed black man surfaced yesterday, and the son of the Republican nominee for president compared refugees to poisoned Skittles, so you know what that means: It’s time to pay attention to celebrities!
Specifically, it’s time to talk about celebrities Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, sometimes referred to as #Brangelina, who are getting divorced. This is definitely our business, and it affects us all. Yet I can’t help feeling like some of us really didn’t need to weigh in on it.
1) Sen. Lindsey Graham
Republican Senator Lindsey Graham on the Brangelina breakup: "just when you think it couldn't get worse, it did."— Paul McLeod (@pdmcleod) September 20, 2016
I guess it’s nice he didn’t dodge the question, but please leave this kind of thing to People magazine, sir.
2) Mr. Met
Given all the rumors about Mrs. Met’s other lovers, this was ill-advised.
3) White supremacists
Oh, good, I was wondering when the kids would get blamed!
4) Tectonic plates
Jeez, overreact much?
5) Nihilist Arby’s
You called it: Brad & Angelina are divorcing. Meanwhile, you'll never divorce because no one will ever love you even for a moment.— Nihilist Arby's (@nihilist_arbys) September 20, 2016
WE GET IT.
6) Anyone who thinks they’re friends with Jennifer Aniston in real life
Aniston and Pitt split up in 2005, and she’s since married Justin Theroux, but yeah, she’s totally still hung up on this whole drama.
7) Harambe truthers
Neither the time nor the place, fellas.
8) Business journals
Wait a minute… this is actually good.
I’m just going to shut up now.