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- T.I. publicly apologizes to daughters after Kobe Bryant’s death Tuesday 8:46 PM
- ‘Squash the boss’: Labor union seemingly unknowingly posted furry fetish art Tuesday 8:04 PM
- TikTok user pretending to be lab technician who has contracted coronavirus Tuesday 7:08 PM
- Caroline Calloway says she plans to campaign for Bernie Sanders Tuesday 6:23 PM
- Justin Bieber, Snoop Dogg, millions of others sign petition to make Kobe Bryant new NBA logo Tuesday 5:39 PM
- No, Lana Del Rey did not cry because Billie Eilish won album of the year Tuesday 4:48 PM
- People are exposing their eyeballs to phone flash for this TikTok challenge Tuesday 3:55 PM
- Watch Mike Bloomberg try to shake a dog’s mouth Tuesday 3:41 PM
- ‘Rey who?’ is the funniest meme to emerge from ‘The Rise of Skywalker’ Tuesday 3:30 PM
- AI beat the CDC to the punch on coronavirus warnings Tuesday 3:21 PM
- What exactly is a ‘large boulder the size of a small boulder’? Tuesday 2:49 PM
- Mom of ‘Success Kid’ says Steve King can’t use her son’s meme for ‘repulsive’ campaign Tuesday 2:00 PM
- Jake Paul can’t escape Logan Paul’s shadow—even if that loyalty has hurt his career Tuesday 1:13 PM
- Kobe Bryant’s Oscar-winning ‘Dear Basketball’ is now available to stream for free (updated) Tuesday 12:21 PM
Chilling video of yet another fatal police shooting of an unarmed black man surfaced yesterday, and the son of the Republican nominee for president compared refugees to poisoned Skittles, so you know what that means: It’s time to pay attention to celebrities!
Specifically, it’s time to talk about celebrities Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, sometimes referred to as #Brangelina, who are getting divorced. This is definitely our business, and it affects us all. Yet I can’t help feeling like some of us really didn’t need to weigh in on it.
1) Sen. Lindsey Graham
Republican Senator Lindsey Graham on the Brangelina breakup: “just when you think it couldn’t get worse, it did.”
— Paul McLeod (@pdmcleod) September 20, 2016
I guess it’s nice he didn’t dodge the question, but please leave this kind of thing to People magazine, sir.
2) Mr. Met
Given all the rumors about Mrs. Met’s other lovers, this was ill-advised.
3) White supremacists
Oh, good, I was wondering when the kids would get blamed!
4) Tectonic plates
Jeez, overreact much?
5) Nihilist Arby’s
You called it: Brad & Angelina are divorcing. Meanwhile, you’ll never divorce because no one will ever love you even for a moment.
— Nihilist Arby’s (@nihilist_arbys) September 20, 2016
WE GET IT.
6) Anyone who thinks they’re friends with Jennifer Aniston in real life
Aniston and Pitt split up in 2005, and she’s since married Justin Theroux, but yeah, she’s totally still hung up on this whole drama.
7) Harambe truthers
Neither the time nor the place, fellas.
8) Business journals
Wait a minute… this is actually good.
oh thank god the people telling everyone how not to react to brangelina are here
— Jaya Saxena (@jayasax) September 20, 2016
I’m just going to shut up now.
Miles Klee is a novelist and web culture reporter. The former editor of the Daily Dot’s Unclick section, Klee’s essays, satire, and fiction have appeared in Lapham’s Quarterly, Vanity Fair, 3:AM, Salon, the Awl, the New York Observer, the Millions, and the Village Voice. He's the author of two odd books of fiction, 'Ivyland' and 'True False.'