- 7-year-old YouTuber to get his own show on Nickelodeon Saturday 5:30 PM
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- Facebook pushes back against moderators complaining about ‘Big Brother’ environment Saturday 12:46 PM
- Twitter hid post from an account linked to Iran’s Supreme Leader Saturday 10:17 AM
- How to stream Leo Santa Cruz vs. Rafael Rivera for free Saturday 8:00 AM
- ‘Larry Charles’ Dangerous World of Comedy’ finds the balance between tragedy and comedy Saturday 7:30 AM
- How to stream Michael ‘Venom’ Page vs. Paul Daley for free Saturday 7:00 AM
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- Bug lets Twitter save your DMs—even after you delete them Friday 7:21 PM
- Guy mansplains song to Japanese Breakfast, the female artist who wrote the song Friday 6:38 PM
- Ann Coulter’s Twitter bio links to a vulgar parody account Friday 5:22 PM
- Popular YouTube music channel gets income yanked for ‘repetitious’ content Friday 4:14 PM
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There’s at least one clear giveaway this is staged.
While it’s true that we witness appalling stampedes and brawls year after year on this bleak occasion, 2015’s breakout Black Friday video is almost certainly staged. It purports to show a woman snatching a vegetable steamer from a child, then grappling with the kid’s mother (who is clutching two steamers herself) and yelling, as if the moment is totally scripted, “Why are you being so aggressive! You’re scaring me!”
Here’s why we aren’t buying it:
- The YouTube uploader has no credibility. This is the single clip they’ve uploaded to the site—under the handle “BlackFriday Fight,” no less—and they gave it a suspiciously vague caption that also tries too hard to sound authentically amateur: “Im posting anonymous because I don want 2b fired, but I work at this store in saginaw and this lady stole a veggie steamer from a KID on black friday! Shame.”
- The woman who steals the steamer is not part of the stampede into the store. She was already inside and waiting. Why? Because she’s a plant. Dead giveaway right there.
- The kid never even touches the pile of boxes. He already has his steamer and walks right past the scene of the spill, which is itself an over-the-top distraction so you don’t notice the obvious setup.
- The woman snatches the box from the kid instead of picking up one of the boxes lying right there on the floor.
- The mom is understandably furious that someone would snatch an item out of her child’s hands, but she already has two of them! Why put a fellow shopper in a headlock after waiting in line all night when you could be running through the store to snatch up other coveted appliances? That’s just bad shopping.
- Finally, the women are fighting over a vegetable steamer. This is America. No one would ever fight over a vegetable steamer.
We’re not claiming, of course, that no one would sink this low at a Black Friday sale—seven people have been killed at these things in the last decade—but if you want our opinion on this video: It’s a complete rip-off.
Photo via Diariocritico de Venezuela/Flickr (CC BY 2.0)
Miles Klee is a novelist and web culture reporter. The former editor of the Daily Dot’s Unclick section, Klee’s essays, satire, and fiction have appeared in Lapham’s Quarterly, Vanity Fair, 3:AM, Salon, the Awl, the New York Observer, the Millions, and the Village Voice. He's the author of two odd books of fiction, 'Ivyland' and 'True False.'