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- Professor writes article defending ‘Asian romantic preference’—and no one is here for it Thursday 4:57 PM
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- Netflix’s ‘Secret Obsession’ isn’t just terrible—it’s boring as hell Thursday 3:30 PM
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- Man asks woman to stop speaking Spanish on a plane—and bystanders start speaking Spanish Thursday 12:55 PM
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- Man utterly roasted for saying women can’t ask for equality in revealing clothing Thursday 12:07 PM
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- Everyone loves Q baby, the baby who apparently supports QAnon Thursday 9:53 AM
You won’t find these Patronuses on Pottermore.
Pottermore finally added a Patronus test on Thursday, allowing fans to discover what form their corporeal Patronus Charms take after years of speculation. As is the case with most Pottermore tests, it has spawned both joyful reactions and Harry Potter-related identity crises, but the Patronus test is also leading to some wonderful results we wish were real.
We don’t yet know just how many creatures are potential Patronuses—Hypable has a running list of 142 creatures to date. While Twitter was quick to make jokes out of the Patronus test, the jokes really got going after J.K. Rowling retweeted a Harambe meme created by theChive. She then later had to clarify that Harambe was not actually an available Patronus, because this is where we are in 2016. (Neither are gorillas, according to Hypable’s list.)
According to Pottermore’s Professor Catullus Spangle, an 18th century charms researcher, Patronuses may take “forms that their casters might not expect, for which they have never felt a particular affinity, or (in rare cases) even recognise.” This explains how someone might ended up with an oddball.
Some artists took to rendering their own Patronus art and GIFs (some more convincing than others.)
Many of us may not have been able to create something with the whimsical, silvery glow that Pottermore achieved, we had our own real-life animals to embody our Patronus.
While Patronuses come in the form of creatures, not people, we do wish they could.
And of course brands got involved. (There’s something especially grim about a dead chicken being a Patronus but what do we know.)
It’s not surprising that some fans are going their own route to finding a Patronus. Not everyone was happy with what they got.
My Patronus was so bad that I deleted my Pottermore account.
— Andrew Wheeler (@Wheeler) September 23, 2016
Michelle Jaworski is a staff writer and the resident Game of Thrones expert at the Daily Dot. She covers entertainment, geek culture, and pop culture and has brought her knowledge to conventions like Con of Thrones. She is based in New Jersey.