the mummy

Screengrab via Universal Pictures/YouTube

Comics writer Gail Simone’s review of ‘The Mummy’ is better than ‘The Mummy’

Each comparison gets more creative.

 

Michelle Jaworski

Internet Culture

Published Jun 12, 2017   Updated May 23, 2021, 3:25 am CDT

The Mummy reboot, which launches Universal’s Dark Universe, failed to woo critics—some of whom suggested viewers watch the Brendan Fraser Mummy series instead—and faltered at the U.S. box office next to Wonder Woman. But if you were still morbidly curious about the film, comic book writer Gail Simone’s scathing review can handily illustrate the experience of watching The Mummy without you actually having to watch The Mummy.

Simone, who’s written Wonder Woman, Birds of Prey, Batgirl, Red Sonja, and Secret Six, went to see the new Tom Cruise flick on its opening weekend. Here are her thoughts—each one more vivid than the next.

At this point, Simone’s descriptions are already painting a beautifully horrific picture, with each comparison even more grotesque than the last. The way she describes it, The Mummy sounds like a next-level mess with extremely low expectations of terribleness both met and surpassed.

But the more creative Simone gets with her review the more fascinating it becomes. Could it be that bad?

Simone later clarified that while she had fun at The Mummy , it was still pretty bad overall.

It almost makes us want to see how bad it really is. Almost.

H/T The Mary Sue

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*First Published: Jun 12, 2017, 1:37 pm CDT