woman speaking with caption 'when he and I separated' (l) bridesmaid at wedding (c) woman speaking with caption 'she sent him a long message about how she's so sorry for what he's going through' (r)

IVASHstudio/Shutterstock @spizzlemethis/TikTok (Licensed) Remix by Caterina Cox

‘She absolutely was shooting her shot’: Wife’s friend DMs husband while they’re separated. Was it appropriate?

‘She’s not a girl’s girl.’


Grace Fowler


Posted on Nov 16, 2023   Updated on Nov 16, 2023, 12:17 pm CST

A wife posted a viral TikTok sharing how her friend sent her husband a direct message (DM) while they were separated. She asks viewers if her reaction to the news is irrational or valid.

The TikToker, @spizzlemethis, received nearly 700,000 views and over 67,000 likes on her video by Thursday morning. 

She begins her video by saying she is sharing the story because she wants to know if she is being “crazy or irrational, or if I’m onto something.”

She starts giving backstory, explaining how she and her husband are working on reconciling their marriage. The TikToker had filed for divorce earlier this year, and she and her husband were separated for a while. The divorce has now been dismissed, and she says they are working on their marriage, “which is great,” she adds.

Next, she says while they were separated, one of their friends DMed her husband on Facebook. She explains that the woman is the “on-again, off-again” girlfriend of one of her husband’s close friends. “She and I were friends; she and my husband really didn’t talk that much, but she and I would message back and forth on Facebook,” she says.

“She’s also divorced and has kids,” she adds. “She was mainly my friend,” not her husband’s.

When the TikToker and her husband separated, she says her friend messaged her husband and “sent him a long message about how she’s so sorry for what he’s going through and if he needs any advice, you know she’s been, there and she can give it to him.”

The TikToker says her husband responded, “Hey actually, I think my wife actually needs someone to talk to right now, so you might wanna reach out to her and see how she’s doing.” 

“She never messaged me,” she explains. 

Once she and her husband started reconciling, he told her that her friend had messaged him.

When she found this out, @spizzlemethis decided to message her friend herself. “I was short, but I was not rude; I wasn’t condescending; I wasn’t insulting,” she adds.

The TikToker says she messaged her friend, saying, “It really doesn’t sit well with me how you only messaged my husband when he and I were separated, and he told you directly that I needed somebody, and you never reached out to me, so I think it’s best if we just weren’t friends going forward.” 

She says her friend apologized, and she decided to just let it go.

“She then messaged my husband and was like, ‘Hey, I’m really sorry if I got between the two of you. I definitely wasn’t trying to shoot my shot,'” she recounts.

The TikToker adds that her friend put “shoot my shot” in quotation marks in her direct message. “I never said that in my message. I never even mentioned saying that she was trying to get him. I literally just said it doesn’t sit well with me,” she adds.

Next, after her conversation with her ex-friend, her husband posts a picture of their son on Facebook. “This morning,” she says, “I notice there’s three comments on it that I can’t see.”

“So, I asked my brother to go look and see who had commented on it that I couldn’t see,” she says. “This girl blocked me on Facebook,” she adds. 

She says she unfriended the girl on Facebook herself but did not block her. “She blocked me after I unfriended her, and she commented on this post of pictures of my son,” she adds.

“Is it weird? Does anybody else find it weird?” she asks before ending her video. 

@spizzlemethis One things for sure is she’s not a girl’s girl #fyp #weirdo #girlsgirl ♬ original sound – empeezeeeeee

Viewers immediately came to @spizzlemethis’ defense, saying her ex-friend’s behavior was strange. “She knew what she was doing!” one comment says. “Def not a girls’ girl, why would she block you but keep him as a friend?”

A comment with over 16,000 likes says, “She absolutely was shooting her shot, hoping to get in as the supportive friend. She was probably never your friend, unfortunately.”

The Daily Dot reached out to @spizzlemethis via TikTok direct message.

She told the Daily Dot, “I think she had every right to message him and not me when we were separated and she had every right to block me on social media.”

“What made me uncomfortable was to go on to comment on pictures of my kids while having me blocked,” she added. “I don’t condone any hate towards her or anyone else.” 

In a viral clip, a wife said her friend DMed her husband during their separation. Viewers weigh in on whether the behavior was appropriate.

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*First Published: Nov 16, 2023, 4:30 pm CST