Newlywed shares PSA on ‘mental load and time investment’ of changing last name

@chiknnuggiesinmytummy/TikTok HelgaBragina/ShutterStock (Licensed)

‘Men will never understand’: Newlywed shares PSA on ‘mental load and time investment’ of changing last name

'Been 5 years. I’m still in the process.'


Tiffanie Drayton


Posted on Sep 30, 2023

Many women still change their names to the husband’s after getting married. Few think about the nitty gritty of the whole process. However, one woman is calling out just how time-consuming and confusing a name change after a bride’s big day can be.

In a viral TikTok video with over 549,000 views as of Saturday, user Delanie Kristen (@chiknnuggiesinmytummy) broke down all that it took to get her name changed after getting married.

“Men in heterosexual marriages will never understand the mental load and time investment of changing your last name,” the woman began the clip.

She then explained all steps necessary to get through the process. At the time of recording, Delanie was able to successfully change the information on her social security card and had just started trying to change her driver’s license.

@chiknnuggiesinmytummy Dont even get me started on our digital footprint and all the places our names are online. #changingyourname #namechange #namechanged #newlastname #lastnamechange #newlymarried #newlywed ♬ original sound – Delanie Kristek

“I’m in the very beginning stages,” she said.

Yet, she was already exhausted by the whole process. Despite using a kit called NewlyNamed, which provides all of the paperwork necessary to make the process easier, the TikToker still found the whole thing excruciating.

“Even with the exact instructions, this is just incredibly time-consuming,” she opined.

One of the most frustrating aspects of the whole ordeal was dealing with the government’s Department of Public Safety website. Apparently, it is difficult to navigate in order to schedule an appointment. And to make matters worse, all of the offices near her had no available appointments until next year.

“Guess what?” She continued. “I have a flight in December 2023 that the name on my ticket is my new last name.”

The woman figured that she would have more than enough time to finish the name change process by then. So the TikToker said she must drive to another DPS office 40 minutes away in order to make that change. Doing so wouldn’t mean she was able to complete the name change process.

“I still gotta change my insurance cards, I gotta change my bank accounts, I gotta change my passport,” she lamented. “I gotta change my global entry.”

And the list of changes didn’t end there. She also explained that she would have to change the details on her small business paperwork and also other forms of insurance.

In the comments section, many shared their own experiences with changing their names after a marriage.

“I put the newly named box on my registry and no one got it for me so now i’m just not changing my name lmfao,” user Olivia wrote.

“I literally just didn’t change mine,” another user admitted. “Socially i use my married name but my license, passport, etc. says my maiden name.”

Others offered up advice for dealing with the situation.

“My stipulation for changing my name is that my future husband has to do all the paperwork for me, I’ll just show up and sign when needed,” user Bridge said.

“Don’t change your passport,” Kelley Demshock offered. “If you travel abroad, just book your ticket in your maiden name. Then you can just change it when your passport expires.”

“Not a bad tactic honestly,” Delanie agreed.

The Daily Dot reached out to Delanie via TikTok comment for more information.

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*First Published: Sep 30, 2023, 8:04 am CDT