Woman says she ghosted her friend for trying to steal her boyfriend.

@kelly_kim_/TikTok @joannayeonlee/TikTok Prostock-studio/ShutterStock (Licensed)

‘Lowkey feel like I’m being gaslit’: Woman says she ghosted her friend for trying to steal her boyfriend. Viewers are torn after hearing friend’s response

'the hoodie thing alone would’ve made me spiral'


Jack Alban


Posted on Nov 23, 2023   Updated on Nov 23, 2023, 11:29 am CST

A woman says she ghosted her friend for trying to steal her boyfriend. And TikTok viewers are torn after hearing the friend’s response.

TikTok user Kelly (@kelly_kim_) posted the clip, in which she details how she felt compelled to end a relationship with a woman she used to be close friends with. So close, actually, that they were even roommates at one point.

The reason for their friendship dissolution? Kelly’s boyfriend. Or rather, how her former pal tried every which way to try and schmooze her way into capturing the attention and adoration of the man.

Kelly begins her video in the middle of her makeup routine: “Get ready with me while I talk about the ridiculous things that this girl that claimed to be a girl’s girl, has done to me. For context I’ve never, ever in my life had to cut out a person cold turkey, and I’ve never had to go through a friendship break up, because genuinely I feel like I only open up to the people that deserve my time and I end up loving them for a lifetime hopefully.”

She says that unfortunately the woman she’s talking about wasn’t one of these friends. “But this girl was just an exception,” Kelly says, before going on to say that she was going to do her best to relay some situations that influenced her decision to never spend time with the woman again and not fly into a fit of rage.

“The day that she met my boyfriend or like couple days into it she added him to her close friends story and just started posting the random TMIs on her stories, like an attention trap, not even a thirst trap, it’s like an attention trap, and this was before my boyfriend and I started dating but like everyone knew that we were into each other.”

Kelly went on to relay the second instance she referred to, which she says is connected to the aforementioned Instagram stories drama. “She borrowed my boyfriend’s hoodie we’re all over at his house cause she was cold, and then she took the hoodie home, which is fine, girl like be warm stay warm, don’t get cold. But she continues to wear that hoodie for the next two weeks and posts all about it on social media. A picture of her in his hoodie, which is again I can let it pass, whatever,” she says.

The TikToker also didn’t seem to appreciate how this since-deleted friend was extolling a brand that her boyfriend liked out of nowhere. “Starts to randomly show her love for the brand that my boyfriend likes. Never heard this girl brag about how much she likes this brand before. Never. Until she met my boyfriend,” Kelly notes.

“Spending hours getting ready to see him, calling up my other friend telling her that she thinks he’s cute and that she could see herself getting along with him while we were already dating. Getting him the sandwich that he mentioned he likes and then volunteering to wake up early so that she could hand the sandwich to him so that he can take it to work. I’m kinda surprised right now because now that I’m talking about this months after it actually happened, I find this hilarious. I’m not even raging anymore I just think it’s kind of funny how hard this girl is trying. Honestly, I don’t blame you girl, my boyfriend is cute. Just hope you can find a new man to buy sandwiches for every morning. Goodbye and I wish you the best,” she says after putting on some of her makeup and blowing a kiss to the camera.

@kelly_kim_ which one was ur fav? the sandwich one is mine #girlsgirl #grwm #datingstorytime ♬ original sound – Kelly

Then, the woman that Kelly was referring to in her clip posted a reaction video to being “dropped” as a friend. Jo (@joanneyeonlee) says that the decision was spurred by her desire to “clear up any misconceptions” about her character.

While Jo doesn’t explicitly name Kelly in the video, she says that she is indeed the “friend that’s been ghosted” in the viral clip that’s been making the rounds on TikTok. Jo said that she didn’t really appreciate how she had to learn about Kelly’s ire towards her online, despite personally reaching out several times in an attempt to discover what went wrong with their friendship.

Jo went on to address three distinct points in Kelly’s video. The first rejoinder she gave pertained to Kelly’s mention of her adding the man who ended up becoming her boyfriend to her close friends on Instagram. Jo explained that while her, Kelly, and a group of mutual friends and friends of friends all went to hang out for her birthday, that Kelly pointed out a guy (the dude who would end up being her boyfriend) she thought was cute. Jo said that she even wing-manned it for Kelly, as she strolled up to the dude and pointed Kelly out to him, informing the man that she thought he was cute and the two of them should chat it up.

Jo went on to say that the only reason she added Kelly’s boyfriend to her close friends on Instagram was because she added everyone who attended her birthday celebration that night as a close friend and that she doesn’t really put much importance on the distinction.

She then pushed back against Kelly’s accusation that the posts she was uploading for only her “close friends” to see were meant to be attention grabbing uploads to “trap” her boyfriend into viewing them. Jo argued that if these attention trap posts were made for men, then she would only add a bunch of dudes to her close friends group and she wouldn’t leave Kelly and other people on the close friends list.

And then she explained the hoodie situation: “I’m just notorious for not giving back hoodies. And I am sorry I just took longer to give this one back because it was really cute. It’s not because it was his hoodie and like I wanted to keep it longer and like I just wanted to feel cozy up in his hoodie it was literally because it was cute.”

If you’re wondering about her over-zealousness in wanting to bring Kelly’s boyfriend a sandwich, Jo spoke to that as well. “The sandwich is like the most iconic part of the story. You and I both know babes that sandwich was an expression of my gratitude for mounting my TV. Oh and at this time like we were living together too, me and this girl, we were living together, we were roommates. So they were together we were, us three were together in my room mounting the TV and like making jokes and making fun,” she says.

Jo continues, “And then like I really wanted my TV mounted, and he did it so I was like, oh my God like I’m so thankful. Let me show my gratitude in some way other than just being like thank you. Oh, I picked up a sandwich, um, after work at a bakery that’s right next to my work and I put it in the fridge, and I was like, OK, perfect, we have a sandwich secured for you. Come pick it up before work tomorrow so you can eat it before it spoils cause why the f*ck would I get you a sandwich and have it spoil you know?”

Jo also went on to explain that Kelly came with her boyfriend to pick up the sandwich in question, which she says completely invalidates the idea that she was trying to use the sandwich as an “in” to get at her boyfriend. “If I really cared about like me getting him the sandwich because it was like for him, I would have wanted to hand it to him. But I didn’t care. It was just a form of expression. I would have done this for anyone else. It doesn’t matter that it was him,” she says.

She then ended her reply by stating that Kelly vilified her to a mutual friend, and that their original trio of three gal pals was ultimately broken up as a result of this drama. Jo stated that she replied to Kelly’s video on TikTok stating that she was negligent in mentioning what she thought were pertinent details, and that her remarks were deleted and she was blocked from her TikTok account afterwards.

@joannayeonlee cant believe this is what it is but here it is #girlsgirl #femalefriendships #gaslighting101 ♬ original sound – jo💌

What often happens with social media disputes is that there are invariably going to be followers/commenters who believe in the “strength in numbers” approach to applauding a particular narrative, one that they will defend by cherry-picking certain pieces of evidence and particular claims so that their bias is supported. This influencer tribalism or “stanhood” often puts folks into camps were they blindly support and excuse their favorite personalities, rather than analyzing the evidence presented to them with a personal standard and then subjecting that evidence to scrutiny through the lens of that standard.

Judging from the numerous comments left on both Kelly and Jo’s videos, it would appear that there were a lot of folks who sided with Kelly’s viewpoint on the matter.

“I am on Kelly side. You did sneaky things and tried to disguise them as ‘friendly’.Good for her for cutting you off,” one person wrote.

Another replied, “I’m on Kelly’s side. You need to just admit you liked him and lacked some boundaries when they got together. You can’t excuse the hoodie thing.”

Someone else wrote that they thought, in general, whenever someone tries to assiduously explain a situation and provide an over abundance of details that they’re probably trying to cover something up: “its the detailed overexplaining that ALWAYS shows who’s guilty and tryna hide it.”

And then there were tons of other folks who said that after watching Jo’s clip, they felt that they woman was gas lighting her viewers. “I haven’t watched the other video, but I feel like I’m getting gaslit,” a viewer remarked.

Someone else, who also said that they didn’t watch Kelly’s video, replied that they thought Jo’s story seemed fishy as well: “I haven’t seen the other one but there’s red flags here.”

However, there was on person who responded to Jo’s explainer who did say that while they thought Kelly’s behavior towards Jo’s boyfriend wasn’t all that bad, that she should still probably be more cognizant of people’s feelings and her interactions with their significant others. “I think the stuff is pretty minuscule, but moving forward, please practice self awareness and boundaries with your friends’ partners,” the user wrote.

The Daily Dot has reached out to Kelly via email and Jo via TikTok comment for further information.

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*First Published: Nov 23, 2023, 11:30 am CST