A Twitter employee has been tweeting out the most insane, overprivileged soundbites overheard at Twitter’s San Francisco offices.
What kind of person works at Twitter? Here’s the inside scoop, according to a @NYTFridge-inspired parody account: entitled jerks.
The account’s description links to a public list of Twitter’s staff, and a real-life Twitter employee claims everything it posts was actually said. Still, the account’s description added the hashtag “#satire” yesterday afternoon. But is it? These people are, generally, wealthy (early employees could sell their shares of the company for $9.9 billion) and they work at a “cool” tech company.
JWZ reported last night that a source inside Twitter said the company’s communications team was “crying a river” over the bad publicity the account was garnering. Seems pretty legit.
#1: I never reach into the snack bins with my bare hands, I send my intern to get me snacks.
— Lawrence T. Bird (@twentitled) June 19, 2013
#1: They should make a wiki of the times/names for all celeb visits at least a week ahead of time so I don’t get fucked by a WFH again…
— Lawrence T. Bird (@twentitled) June 10, 2013
#1: the sparkling water machines are not producing enough sparkles!
— Lawrence T. Bird (@twentitled) May 14, 2013
#1: We should be able to order bottle service up on the roof deck. #2: I’d pay for that.
— Lawrence T. Bird (@twentitled) May 3, 2013
#1: I have to screen print my own twitter shirt now? What is this, some kind of hipster piggy bank project?
— Lawrence T. Bird (@twentitled) March 20, 2013
#1: You know, we wouldn’t have issues with broken espresso machines if we still had baristas
— Lawrence T. Bird (@twentitled) March 27, 2013
Wow. Tough work day over at Twitter, huh?
And finally, the most meta of them all:
#1: Someone blogged about my Twitter account! #2: Whatever, let me know when it gets on TechCrunch, I’m late for my afternoon massage.
— Lawrence T. Bird (@twentitled) June 21, 2013
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