Turning 24 isn’t easy. But Pat Stansik admits, he may regret this video by the time he’s 30.

Nobody said your mid-20s were easy (except, you know, everyone over 27). For Denver, Colo., advertising intern Pat Stansik, the best remedy lies in self-deprecation.

Stansik, a University of Michigan graduate whose YouTube channel has accrued nearly 1 million views since its 2008 launch, celebrated his 24th birthday yesterday with the release of “I’m 24,” a rap parody detailing all of the common afflictions faced by today’s disenfranchised youth.

Among them:

  • Old enough to serve, but can’t rent a car
  • The astronomical cost of today’s cab fares
  • Life at the bottom of the corporate ladder
  • The embarrassment of being listed on your parents’ insurance policy
  • The body’s rapid loss of on-the-spot agility
  • Having to shop at Trader Joe’s because Whole Foods is too expensive
  • An inability to tie a Full Windsor knot
  • The perils of online dating

Backed by five of his best bros, all of whom look like they studied economics and played college lacrosse at Bucknell University, Stansik spits with a junior associate’s wit, flipping through a few of the upper middle class’s favorite clichés (“I don’t want to get married, but I could see myself settling down in a few years if I met the right girl”) in khakis, a tucked-in button down and v-neck sweater.

“My vocab’s changing,” he raps. “I say things like ‘For good measure.’ And when I get free time, you know I’m reading for pleasure.”

Somebody tell Stansik that age is just a number—just like “A Millie.”

Photo from YouTube

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