- Bernie Sanders wins Nevada Caucuses Saturday 6:54 PM
- MSNBC is out of its mind over Sanders leading Nevada Saturday 5:20 PM
- Kim Kardashian dragged for using makeup to darken her hands Saturday 4:13 PM
- TikTok users show how they turned their vehicles into incredible tiny homes Saturday 3:44 PM
- Woman iconically pranks man who sent her an unsolicited d*ck pic Saturday 2:25 PM
- ‘Terrifying’ deepfake puts Jeff Bezos and Elon Musk in ‘Star Trek’ Saturday 1:06 PM
- A 36-year-old called the cops after being booted from parents’ phone plan Saturday 12:16 PM
- People think novelist Dean Koontz predicted the coronavirus in 1981 thriller Saturday 10:22 AM
- Twitter suspends 70 pro-Bloomberg accounts Saturday 9:15 AM
- In documentary ‘Modern Whore,’ a former escort takes control of her own narrative Saturday 6:30 AM
- Cara Delevingne calls out Justin Bieber for ‘ranking’ wife Hailey’s friends Friday 9:07 PM
- Fans defend Jenna Marbles after some people claimed she mistreated her dogs in a recent video Friday 8:37 PM
- ‘Friends’ gets reunion special on HBO Max, fans go wild Friday 7:37 PM
- Why you should drop everything and start reading ‘Lore Olympus’ Friday 6:27 PM
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Free gift for government employees hits the sweet spot
Here’s how government employees can get some satisfaction from the shutdown.
Good news, government employees! You still may not be getting paid in the wake of the ongoing government shutdown. But all your newly expanded downtime just got a lot more fun.
The gregariously-minded folks at Vibrators.com are putting their money where their mouth is—and don’t worry, it’s not where you think.
They’re giving away 200 free vibrators a day as long as the shutdown lasts. The giveaway is meant for government employees, and it’s sure to cause a buzz on Capitol Hill. The sleek pink wands come with a DIY ethos that even Republicans should approve of, and may make Congress rethink the meaning of “non-essential personnel.”
Like everyone else, Vibrators.com assumes that outcast employees are probably feeling bouts of pent-up frustration at the government’s inability to perform. From the website:
Are you a federal employee that has been deemed non-essential? Do you have a little too much time on your hands and nothing to do? Is the recent government shutdown to blame?… [W]e know you have some free time, why not try something new?
Suggested optional accessories include four Double-A batteries—for when you need to galvanize your constituency—and “slick and soothing premium lube” for anyone smarting from their run-in with big government. Helpfully, the site also provides free erotica for anyone who’s grown tired of reading myths about the Affordable Care Act.
Since it’s hard to prove just who does and doesn’t work for the government, Vibrators.com is capping the giveaway at 200 per day, limit one per customer. “When the shutdown ends, so does the free vibe offer,” admonishes the site.
Of course, that doesn’t give the government much incentive to come back from its enforced vacation period.
But at least when Congress is back in session, they’ll all be much more relaxed.
Photos via Vibrators.com
Aja Romano is a geek culture reporter and fandom expert. Their reporting at the Daily Dot covered everything from Harry Potter and anime to Tumblr and Gamergate. Romano joined Vox as a staff reporter in 2016.