diaper butt

Photo via MissMessie/Flickr (CC-BY-SA)

Vegan restaurant patrons dismayed by sight of kid’s butthole

Butts aren't vegan.

 

David Britton

Internet Culture

Published Jul 8, 2017   Updated May 23, 2021, 12:35 am CDT

There are lots of reasons a restaurant might get a bad review: poor service, bad food, the owner’s kid bending over and showing you their butthole. You know, the usual. Well, it was the third thing that upset someone at Imagine Vegan Cafe in Memphis, TN. Customer Chelsea Bartley left the restaurant what seems like a pretty reasonable Google review, all things considered, which reads as follows [sic]:

On the real, I eat here all the time. I still probably will bc I like to go out and there are few options available to me BUT y’all listen.

During my visit, a bare butt naked baby was running around, stood up on a table with its black theyre so dirty feet, and bent over to show me it’s butthole. I wish I was exaggerating. This is like while I’m eating, and it’s the owners kids? An older kid came over and started like yodeling and staring at me during my meal. I was SO uncomfortable. Like I get it’s a family establishment and kids do weird things but naked baby was running around for like 15 minutes while all the workers started are just standing to the side talking and laughing over it.

And for my food, I can heat up a tofurky sausage just as well and in under half the time

The best part of the review? Bartley still gave the place two stars. Not bad considering the one star she saw during her meal.

But the restaurant owner wasn’t having it. They addressed Bartley directly on their Facebook page (which has since been deleted), and used up approximately half of the world’s remaining exclamation points.

I am about to start calling out names and pictures of people who leave us bad reviews, especially when it deals with our children. You will no longer be allowed to come and dine at Imagine. Especially when you lie about our babies. We do not need or want your business. Be our guest to go and eat at the other vegan restaurants down the street. This is going to be fun!!!! You’ve thoroughly irritated mama bear!!!!!!!!! We’re starting with Chelsea Bartley!

For anyone who reads this and is instantly scared this might affect our business, I cannot begin to tell you how much we do not care. Haters are not welcome at Imagine!!!!

The “irritated mama bear” seemed to go on a bit of a tirade overnight, at one pointing replying to someone that ,”The awesome thing is we couldn’t even begin to care what you think. Imagine isn’t about business or being professional!”

Obviously, people online found the whole situation to be highly amusing.

https://twitter.com/curtofranklin/status/883004150988013569

Imagine cafe family
The Imagine Cafe family, pictured here fully clothed. Photo via Imagine Vegan Cafe

The next day they issued a much calmer response.

To clarify what happened with this bad review, this is what happened:

We have a one-year old child who has just discovered she can undo the Velcro on her diaper. She is also currently potty training. One day last week, she got out of my husband and my site, took off her diaper and ran across the restaurant. She was quickly apprehended and re-dressed. Someone decided that it was necessary to leave very nasty review about it. Not only about it but our five-year-old who was trying to say hello to her and she was very uncomfortable and offended. This irritated the heck right out of me because we clearly state on our menu that children could be around the restaurant. I called her out ofr it and she apparently didn’t like it. Now trolls and others are finding it necessary to bash a restaurant they’ve never even been to.

Which version of the event is accurate is up for debate. As usual, the important part of the story is being glossed over. Yodeling is a skill that can take a lifetime to develop. That 5-year-old is a prodigy.

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*First Published: Jul 8, 2017, 6:00 am CDT