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In what has to be the great play-by-play call of anybody who’s ever tried to break into a truck, here’s video surveillance of a man who tried to do exactly that. But he failed dramatically, and the radio announcer who detailed the event had the absolutely perfect call of the incident.

Here’s the scene as the anonymous pilferer tried to smash the window of a truck parked in the lot at Seattle radio station KIRO. After a radio engineer saw the footage the next morning, it somehow landed in the hands of Seattle radio personality John Currey.

Currey’s voice took it from there.

If you thought, when you woke up this morning, that today you’d read the words, “Somebody get some salami and cream cheese and rub it all over his face. He’s unconscious, on the ground, with the mop,” then you deserve a big prize. Like, a truck that withstands all break-in attempts from household cleaning items.

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