OK, which one of you clogged this toilet with cabbage?

A mystery for the viral age.

 

Miles Klee

Internet Culture

Published Feb 10, 2016   Updated May 27, 2021, 5:53 am CDT

Throughout history, humans have vexed themselves with imponderables: What is the sound of one hand clapping? How can we find true happiness? Why are we here?

Featured Video Hide

To this list of questions we must, unfortunately, add another: Who the fuck did this?

Advertisement Hide

Twitter

“But wait,” you will no doubt protest, “that’s red cabbage, not onions.” And you, my friend, will have missed the point—just like virtually everyone else who replied to that tweet.

Advertisement Hide

This, you see, is a typical Internet defense mechanism when dealing with the unexpected and unexplained: Correct some minor detail in the source post and move on. But whether it’s cabbage or onions, the essential mystery remains. We have learned nothing.

I don’t blame people for focusing on the small stuff rather than grappling with the apparently motiveless cabbage-bombing of a toilet. It’s their right. I just can’t escape the notion that we as a species will never move forward if we keep avoiding these issues.

Advertisement Hide
(Sorry, this embed was not found.)

So, do you have any idea what happened here? Are you the dastardly cabbage fiend? Was this no more than an absurd or embarrassing accident? If you have the answers, it’s within your power to make this a better world for everyone. Tell us, or we’ll toss and turn all night. 

Photo via @lyxopk/Twitter

Share this article
*First Published: Feb 10, 2016, 7:35 pm CST