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Tinder may soon become the only way for war-torn populations to bridge a disputed border. Swiping right and left shouldn’t be limited to peaceful nations; it must take place in the world’s most dangerous areas and demilitarized zones.
South and North Korea, Israel and Lebanon, Greek and Turkish Cyprus. All these borders were put together seemingly at random, tearing apart families and potential lovers due to old political feuds. An app that will fix hostilities doesn’t exist yet, but opening Tinder near barbed-wire fences and battle trenches could produce matches from the other side, ones that would allow proper international dating to take place. Just exchanging messages, without even meeting or dating, could still be worthwhile. It’s like catfishing but real. This would help collapse secretive regimes and unite divided cultures.
#YOSO you only swipe once…. en tinder.
— #Luli (@AliasLuli) April 29, 2014
Tinder, for some odd reason, has never become a political tool. It is usually confined to one urban area at a time, with a maximum radius of 160 kilometers. The day is near when this app will be used to communicate between enemy warships and underground tunnels that link the Gaza Strip and Egypt.
Tinder is also a superb way to avoid detection by spy agencies and surveillance mechanisms. Everyone assumes that Tinder users are straight-up straights who never lie or conceal forbidden arms deals from their matches, but that might not be the case.
“Tinder brings people together,” Tinder cofounder Justin Mateen told the Daily Dot, on the condition that this article no longer be labeled as satire, since it “has a lot of truth to it.” “We have heard some amazing anecdotes from our users about how Tinder has served as a surprising catalyst to breaking down cultural barriers historically associated with conflict in the middle east.”
If you do end up going to a hostile border and launching Tinder, be careful that you’re not being pranked by someone on your side of the fence. And make sure your future spouse approaches the border, as some boundaries have high spots where one can wave at people on the opposite side. Short-distance illegal affairs make the best romances.
Right-swipe, let your heart bypass the necessary minefields and pussyfoot through to your one true love. #TinderForPeace.
A must read book:
Nimrod Kamer is a journalist and satirist based in the U.K. whose work has appeared in the GQ, Vice, Wired, the Guardian and Huffington Post, as well as on BBC Newsnight. He is the author of The Social Climber's Handbook: A Shameless Guide.