- How to stream Barcelona vs. Real Betis Saturday 11:31 PM
- How to stream Tottenham Hotspur vs. Newcastle Saturday 11:21 PM
- All of the ‘Avengers: Endgame’ Easter eggs discovered by fans Saturday 6:52 PM
- Every big announcement made at D23 about Disney+ Saturday 6:33 PM
- The best haunted house movies to watch online in 2019 Saturday 4:13 PM
- Andy Ngo seen laughing as Patriot Prayer members plan an attack in newly emerged video Saturday 3:59 PM
- How to stream Manchester City vs. Bournemouth Saturday 3:25 PM
- Catholic priest allegedly spent church money on Grindr hookups Saturday 3:04 PM
- Nicolás Maduro’s English Twitter account was suspended with no public explanation Saturday 2:06 PM
- Man claims ex-girlfriend killed his dog after he broke up with her Saturday 1:02 PM
- What are BitTorrent downloads and how do they work? Saturday 12:58 PM
- ICE cuts the cord on real immigrant hotline after being featured in ‘Orange Is the New Black’ (updated) Saturday 10:49 AM
- The 10 best music podcasts for artist interviews and criticism in 2019 Saturday 10:41 AM
- How a socialist Twitch streamer landed in a feud with Dan Crenshaw Saturday 10:07 AM
- How to prepare for your fantasy football draft (and season) Saturday 9:00 AM
Using this pickup line will get you banned from Tinder
Yeah, don’t do this.
Pickup artists are the absolute worst. Case in point? Maximilian Berger, whose so-called “apocalypse opener” has resurfaced as a pickup line on Tinder.
As you can see, the cringeworthy message is filled with red flags. If you have to assure a girl that you can do certain things and that you’re not a creep, chances are you probably can’t do those things and are, in fact, a creep.
Berger, a professional speaker, pickup artist ,and vlogger, explained how he uses the “apocalypse opener” in a charming video titled “How to F**k girls on Tinder.” The name is inspired by the idea that women would only sleep with him in the event of a global catastrophe that killed all other men (which sounds much more difficult than, you know, simply talking to a woman like a normal human being).
The reason for the pickup line’s reappearance? Berger mentioned it in a recent Facebook post and included supposed screenshots of its efficacy. Side note: any guy that actually types “would you like to exchange numerals for our cellular devices” is not to be trusted. Ever.
So now other desperate dudes have been using the “apocalypse opener,” which can apparently get you banned on Tinder.
Even other pickup artists think it’s a pathetic gambit. Here’s a message board comment from late last year:
I noticed that there’s a specific subset of horny lecherous embryos that always mass-spam this opener as an all-or-nothing gamble, it’s almost sociopathic how non-game this is. This is like playing poker with the hand you’re dealt and all chips in every time. What are the fuckin’ odds??
Look, people: If you’ve got a match, you’ve got a match—the goal is to not make them immediately regret their decision and embarrass you by showing your message to their friends. Please do yourselves a favor and say literally anything else.
H/T Distractify | Illustration by Jason Reed
Elijah Watson is an internet culture and entertainment reporter. His work has been published by the Daily Beast, Vice, Complex, Bustle, Uproxx, and Okayplayer.