- Hong Kong protesters wear LeBron James masks Wednesday 7:58 PM
- Gina Rodriguez has said N-word before, Twitter discovers Wednesday 6:54 PM
- How to stream Chiefs vs. Broncos on Thursday Night Football Wednesday 6:00 PM
- Feds take down dark web’s largest known child porn site Wednesday 5:33 PM
- Ben Shapiro says his ‘man body’ is just as controlled as women’s Wednesday 5:06 PM
- Genius turns Kylie Jenner’s ‘rise and shine’ meme into alarm ringtone Wednesday 4:14 PM
- In ‘Tell Me Who I Am,’ twin brothers grapple with hidden trauma Wednesday 4:13 PM
- Panama Papers law firm sues Netflix over ‘The Laundromat’ Wednesday 3:07 PM
- ‘Motherless Brooklyn’ is a gorgeous noir with little below the surface Wednesday 1:14 PM
- Jameela Jamil and Sara Sampaio got in a Twitter feud over ‘long-starved’ models Wednesday 12:52 PM
- Freddie Prinze Jr. will straight-up school you about the Force don’t @ him Wednesday 12:18 PM
- Woman hosts Instagram funeral after she ‘killed’ $102K in student debt Wednesday 11:45 AM
- YouTube beats Netflix as go-to streaming platform for teens Wednesday 11:41 AM
- The tallest man in America posts emotional YouTube video from hospital room Wednesday 11:31 AM
- Nintendo Switch subreddit implodes amid Hong Kong protests Wednesday 11:14 AM
Using this pickup line will get you banned from Tinder
Yeah, don’t do this.
Pickup artists are the absolute worst. Case in point? Maximilian Berger, whose so-called “apocalypse opener” has resurfaced as a pickup line on Tinder.
As you can see, the cringeworthy message is filled with red flags. If you have to assure a girl that you can do certain things and that you’re not a creep, chances are you probably can’t do those things and are, in fact, a creep.
Berger, a professional speaker, pickup artist ,and vlogger, explained how he uses the “apocalypse opener” in a charming video titled “How to F**k girls on Tinder.” The name is inspired by the idea that women would only sleep with him in the event of a global catastrophe that killed all other men (which sounds much more difficult than, you know, simply talking to a woman like a normal human being).
The reason for the pickup line’s reappearance? Berger mentioned it in a recent Facebook post and included supposed screenshots of its efficacy. Side note: any guy that actually types “would you like to exchange numerals for our cellular devices” is not to be trusted. Ever.
So now other desperate dudes have been using the “apocalypse opener,” which can apparently get you banned on Tinder.
Even other pickup artists think it’s a pathetic gambit. Here’s a message board comment from late last year:
I noticed that there’s a specific subset of horny lecherous embryos that always mass-spam this opener as an all-or-nothing gamble, it’s almost sociopathic how non-game this is. This is like playing poker with the hand you’re dealt and all chips in every time. What are the fuckin’ odds??
Look, people: If you’ve got a match, you’ve got a match—the goal is to not make them immediately regret their decision and embarrass you by showing your message to their friends. Please do yourselves a favor and say literally anything else.
H/T Distractify | Illustration by Jason Reed
Elijah Watson is an internet culture and entertainment reporter. His work has been published by the Daily Beast, Vice, Complex, Bustle, Uproxx, and Okayplayer.