- Ajit Pai’s net neutrality victory lap comes as his own repeal is under review 4 Years Ago
- Alissa Violet is in Italy—and fans are worried she’ll get coronavirus 4 Years Ago
- Bernie or Barry? Garth Brooks’ Sanders jersey sparks online panic Today 8:42 AM
- Netflix series ‘Followers’ is a visual treat—but lacks a clear narrative Today 6:00 AM
- Influencer got trapped under ice for TikTok clout, ‘came close to dying’ Thursday 7:59 PM
- #BernieBruh puts new spin on ‘Bernie Bro’ label, showcases support among Black voters Thursday 6:58 PM
- Camila María Concepcíon, trans activist and Netflix writer, dies at 28 Thursday 5:46 PM
- Chrissy Teigen calls out fan who made weird comment about her daughter’s feet Thursday 4:57 PM
- TikTok’s ‘clean queen’ says videos are helping her figure out ‘adulting’ Thursday 4:12 PM
- Clearview clients include ICE, Macy’s, Best Buy, leaked data reveals Thursday 4:08 PM
- Women are clamoring to get their photos on a Twitter feed of ‘hot mugshots’ Thursday 4:06 PM
- ‘Love Is Blind’ finale: Somehow, real love emerged from this dystopian setting Thursday 3:57 PM
- Creator of ‘Say So’ TikTok dance appears in Doja Cat music video Thursday 3:51 PM
- Is TikTok’s algorithm actually pretty racist? Thursday 3:45 PM
- Fans freaking out over ‘Say My Name’ horror remix featured in Jordan Peele’s ‘Candyman’ Thursday 3:33 PM
Even fans are drawing the line at ‘Star Wars’-branded fruit and meat
Disney, you’ve marketed this film enough.
I have a feeling The Force Awakens is going to be the biggest movie opening in human history. Not necessarily by profit, because I’m sure someday Avatar 4 or whatever will sweep through and make several trillion dollars in the year 2065, but absolutely in terms of cultural relevance. The thing has Luke Skywalker in it. In 2015. Luke Skywalker is in a movie in 2015. It’s the ultimate break-glass-in-case-of-emergency moment in cinema, and it’s finally happening 32 years later.
There’s been a tremendous amount of goodwill around The Force Awakens, which is perhaps surprising given the full-on revolt that we saw when Revenge of the Sith showed up in 2005. But there’s good reason for it. J.J. Abrams is, by and large, a man we can trust, and the critics seemed to enjoy it. And, again, the fucking thing has Luke Skywalker in it. There are only so many things our cynicism is capable of infecting.
But here’s where Disney’s marketing team has gone too far. Below, enjoy a photo of Star Wars branded apples. Like, from the grocery store.
Think that’s an anomaly? Think again.
From what I can tell, these fruits have nothing to do with Star Wars outside of Darth Vader looking sinister on the plastic wrapping. That’s a shame, actually, because if you told me eating these would make me force-sensitive, I’d be all over them in a second.
Here’s some other stuff we’ve seen both within and outside the U.S. Star Wars cold cuts:
Star Wars water.
Star Wars canned corn and foie gras cream:
Star Wars chicken nuggets like are you serious man.
Let’s chill out a bit, OK? Let’s get back to merchandising roots. We’re talking Star Wars Battleship, and Star Wars pez dispensers. Look, I’m going to see the movie. Everyone is. You don’t need to convince me with an apple.
Entertainment and sports reporter Luke Winkie has written everywhere from A.V Club to Vice, including Sports Illustrated, Rolling Stone, Kotaku, Playboy, Mel, and Polygon.