Ship 1,500 live ladybugs to your friends. Really, that’s a thing you can do.
Go to Amazon, pay $3.45 plus postage, and get those ladybugs before the Bug Sales account runs out.
Everyone loves ladybugs, and do you know what they love even more? Hundreds of ladybugs, arriving in a package to their house, guaranteed to still be alive and kicking. And in case you were in any doubt, the Amazon page also assures us they are “Good Bugs.”
This ladybug service gets excellent reviews, so you know they’re reliable. “All of the ladybugs came live,” writes one satisfied customer, adding ominously, “they did what they were supposed to do.” Another writes, “Just what I wanted to send to my grandchildren. So everytime they saw a ladybug, they would think about Nana.” What grandchild wouldn’t want a loving gift of 1,500 live ladybugs? Thanks, Nana.
This product raises a lot of questions, some of which are unanswerable. Is there someone out there whose job is to count out precisely 1500 ladybugs and give them a health check before they make the journey to their new home? Is there a warehouse somewhere full of tiny little ladybug farms? And what, exactly, are the ladybugs for?
We can answer the last question, at least. Gardeners use them as a natural way to get rid of mites and aphids that attack flowerbeds. Although if you want a less charming solution to that problem, the Bug Sales seller on Amazon also provides barrels of 5,000 predatory mites, which it describes as the “ultimate pest eliminator.” (Praying mantis eggs are another option, but they seem to be more like pets than a truly practical pest-control service.)
Just to be clear, we don’t endorse the idea of shipping 1,500 live ladybugs to your friends and family, unannounced. These are living creatures, not the latest Ship Your Enemies Glitter service. But just so you know: The option is out there.
Photo via charlesjsharp/Wikimedia (CC BY-SA 3.0)