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Behold, the most San Francisco ‘Missed Connection’ ever posted
This is juicy.
Not to say you can’t have a great time there, but San Francisco is a pretty weird place. At once a cutting-edge campus for gentrifying startup geeks and a garbage playground for pot-addled crustpunks, you just never know what mix of quinoa, public transportation failure, and fringe politics you’ll encounter on a given day.
But don’t take my word for it. Just read this Craigslist “Missed Connection” from a Safeway supermarket in the neighborhood of Potrero Hill and see if you can tell us who the bigger weirdo in this situation is—the person who wrote it, or the person they’re looking for:
You wanted to buy a cup of my carrot juice at 16th & Bryant Safeway – w4m (potrero hill)
You: Thrilled to see me reach for a half gallon container of Odwalla carrot juice at 16th & Bryant Safeway on Thursday, June 11th in the late afternoon because you wanted some juice but didn’t like the price of the smaller containers and didn’t want to buy a large bottle because you’d be driving and it would “get salmonella.” You proposed that I sell you a cup of my (not yet purchased) juice.
Me: Said no.
I’ve been thinking maybe I should’ve sold you a cup. At the register? In the parking lot? Did you have a cup? Was I supposed to provide one? Would you like to discuss this further?
I am not looking for romance.
Not looking for romance? Yeah, right. The love of your life just slipped away, and you’re too proud to say it. Enjoy drinking that carrot juice alone, you healthy dope.
Photo via John Morgan/Flickr (CC BY 2.0)
Miles Klee is a novelist and web culture reporter. The former editor of the Daily Dot’s Unclick section, Klee’s essays, satire, and fiction have appeared in Lapham’s Quarterly, Vanity Fair, 3:AM, Salon, the Awl, the New York Observer, the Millions, and the Village Voice. He's the author of two odd books of fiction, 'Ivyland' and 'True False.'