The Property Brothers show their extra-weird side on Vine

The HGTV hosts show their extra-weird side.

Mar 1, 2020, 12:11 pm*

Internet Culture

Marisa Kabas 

Marisa Kabas

If you’ve ever watched HGTV’s Property Brothers, then you know Jonathan and Drew Scott, nine-foot-tall twins who do a stellar job of impersonating aliens impersonating humans. The ubiquitous Canadian siblings—a contractor and real estate broker, respectively, who work together to build dream homes for clients—have now joined forces with young Vine celebs to create unintentionally disturbing six-second clips.

The brothers Scott, both 36, teamed up with Meghan McCarthy, Joey Ahern, JehReh, and Korbin Miles to create some truly head-scratching vines. They cross HGTV-approved real-estate humor with the avant-garde stunt comedy popularized by Vine’s hyperactive high schoolers, and the rabbit hole is so deep and so mesmerizing that I can’t tear myself away. 

https://vine.co/v/OjVO7OuqYhJ

See?

https://vine.co/v/Ojb9PaxFrK3

Before we dive in, consider this idea and let it linger in the back of your mind as you loop these clips and try to tell Jonathan from Drew: Are the Property Brothers regular humans, or are they actually highly trained home-renovating robots?

Consider J.D. Scott’s perversely sexual Vine bio, complete with inappropriate winky face:

HGTV host, radio personality, World Vision Global Ambassador, and other stuff. Man of mischief…careful, we might have some fun. ;)

Welcome to Vine’s Uncanny Valley. Let’s see how many of these it takes to make you squirm. 

https://vine.co/v/OjvWQ73HQdF

https://vine.co/v/Op93ZKgDFDm

How about now? No? We’ll keep going.

https://vine.co/v/OpqAzBBpQwT

Still feeling OK? On to the next.

https://vine.co/v/OjBEgaua3LY

Bet you’re starting to writhe. 

Here, Jonathan verges on a profound truth about the ephemeral nature of human life, but also nearly admits he is a Yeerk. What is reflected in that mirror? Is there really a Jonathan Scott?

https://vine.co/v/ODwXehv0VzX

Here, Jonathan teases the idea that he and his brother are shape-shifter clones:

https://vine.co/v/Odd5wpugFdX

Some of the vines use sex appeal to mask the truth. Take this glimpse of Jonathan’s rugged, frayed-jean man-crotch, for instance. Don’t let it distract you from noticing their superhuman strength.

https://vine.co/v/Op6huudUzXP

In this one, a brother scares the shirt off another brother.

https://vine.co/v/OXIIA31uumr

And here… here… I can’t even explain this hot tub scene.

https://vine.co/v/OdHjxi9gjFz

We’ll just leave you with a still from the brothers’ brief stint on Canadian teen drama Breaker High.

Who is that man in the fedora? Why is his collar so flashy? Is his head actually connected to his body?

Oh wait, that’s Ryan Gosling. Hell, he might be an alien too.

Photo via Flickr/US Department of Education (CC 2.0)

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*First Published: Jan 20, 2015, 11:00 am