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Prince Charles is the only 67-year-old who hates Twitter

If you're not on the throne, at least get online.


Peter Bd

Internet Culture

Posted on Sep 7, 2016   Updated on May 26, 2021, 1:58 am CDT

There are tons of famous 67-year-olds who enjoy using Twitter. George Foreman has an account and tweets about very important things.

Pam Grier recently tweeted about the national taco truck debate.

Rick Springfield, whom your mom would still risk it all for, mostly tweets his tour locations, because he’s a 67-year-old who’s super good at touring.

Even the dad from Step by Step has found time to tweet in between collecting TGIF syndication checks.

All of these people are 67 years old, living their best lives, and not ashamed to let the world know that they like using Twitter just like the rest of us. So why is it that this 67-year-old lover of handwritten notes isn’t a fan of the social media service?

Yes, Prince Charles, arguably the most famous 67-year-old in the world, doesn’t get why we enjoy sending messages to all our followers on Twitter. “In these days of texting and various social media apps, the well-constructed sentence is under mortal threat!” he said, according to the Daily Mail, going on to criticize our “140 characters or less culture.” 

This makes zero sense, considering he’s not only famous but incredibly rich and could easily get one of his handlers to tweet for him. You really think Betty White doesn’t have an intern doing this?

Prince Charles, you’re going to be king one day, assuming your mom doesn’t outlive you. So it’s time to bite the bullet and realize that you need Twitter in order to connect with a new generation of social media users who stan for the royal family.

The monarch also had this to say: “Logical ordering of thoughts in proper, grammatically correct prose is in fact rather important at the end of the day.” But you can do this on Twitter, Prince Charles. You can teach us how to type out “fuck my life” instead of “fml.” This would be a win/win for everyone.

“Ladies and gentlemen, perhaps your greatest service is the way that Royal Mail, by its very existence, defends the written word,” he remarked as well, praising the postal service on the occasion of its 500th anniversary.

Wrong again, Prince Charles. More people are using technology to connect today instead of the written word, so this statement is erroneous.

“The written word itself has a staunch defender, reminding us that well-constructed and properly thought-through prose will always endure, whatever the vagaries of fashion,” the prince concluded. Though I’m sure even Queen Elizabeth herself would agree that sliding into someone’s DMs is much easier than composing a letter.

So get off the social media hate brigade and sign up for Twitter, Prince Charles. Your countrymen might stop roasting you if you let them know that you like to let your hair down on social media.

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*First Published: Sep 7, 2016, 6:17 pm CDT