Philadelphia Police Department/Facebook

Philadelphia police department offers to hire Kanye West

A decent starting salary.

Feb 29, 2020, 11:26 am*

Internet Culture

 

Josh Katzowitz

Kanye West has had an interesting month. The rapper and producer released his newest album to much acclaim, but he was lambasted for his reported list of absurd rules for his fashion models.

He was Twitter-shamed for apparently liking anal play, but he put together a searing performance last weekend on Saturday Night Live. He tweeted about Bill Cosby’s innocence. Virgin Airlines invited him to “eat a dick,” and Taylor Swift deftly subtweeted him in real life at the Grammy Awards.

Oh, and apparently he’s in major debt.

https://twitter.com/kanyewest/status/698699904303132672

https://twitter.com/kanyewest/status/698926987281371136

https://twitter.com/kanyewest/status/699107725356199936

Luckily, the Philadelphia police department takes its internal mission (to “CREATE a work environment in which we recruit, train, and develop an exceptional team of employees”) quite seriously. Which is why they have graciously offered West a new career choice.

[Placeholder for https://www.facebook.com/phillypolice/posts/10153704705700910:0 embed.]

Ideally, West is already in good shape.

Considering the GoFundMe page set up for West by one of his altruistic fans has only raised about $4,000 of the $53 million he needs, perhaps he should think about suiting up in blue and joining the force.

After all, he already knows the dangers of being a cop.

“When I think about when I’m on the ‘Can’t Tell Me Nothing’ and ‘Coldest Winter’ moment, that mountain [on West’s performing stage] goes really, really high,” he said in 2013. “And if I slipped… you never know. And I think about it. I think about my family, and I’m like, ‘Wow, this is like being a police officer or something, in war or something.'”

Photo via Philadelphia Police Department/Facebook

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*First Published: Feb 18, 2016, 4:00 pm