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NYC ‘dildo terrorist’ is wreaking silly havoc on public transportation

An anonymous man and a 14-inch rubber phallus.

This article contains sexually explicit material.

It takes all kinds to make a world, and last weekend in New York City, it took a guy waving a huge rubber penis at strangers on the subway.

First reported by Animal New York, here’s what we’re dealing with:

Our “dildo terrorist,” as Animal New York calls it, is an older man who boarded a Flatbush Avenue-bound 2 train Saturday night, decked out in a New York Knicks sweatshirt. He appeared to be intoxicated on an unknown substance, with movements “loose-limbed and sloppy.”

When some passengers reportedly began making fun of him and taking pictures, he removed a giant sex toy from his bag and taunted them with it, waving it in people’s faces and pretending to masturbate it.

It was harmless-seeming, coming more from a place of absurd mischief than one of malice; passengers mostly ignored the guy. Yet every time the train arrived at a station, Crazypants McSextoy repeated the process, removing his dildo from his bag when the train was in motion, taunting new passengers.

Animal New York has several more photos of this egregious goofball if, for some baffling reason, you can’t get enough. There’s no word yet on who this guy actually is.

Just another poignant moment in New York, concrete jungle, where dreams are made of (crazy juice).

H/T Animal New York | Photo via m01229/Flickr (CC BY 2.0)

Dylan Love

Dylan Love

Dylan Love is an editorial consultant and journalist whose reporting interests include emergent technology, digital media, and Russian language and culture. He is a former staff writer for the Daily Dot, and his work has been published by Business Insider, International Business Times, Men's Journal, and the Next Web.