Stop everything and follow the IKEA monkey trial on Twitter

The Scopes Monkey Trial has nothing on the IKEA Monkey Trial.

 

Gaby Dunn

Internet Culture

Published May 31, 2013   Updated Jun 1, 2021, 2:28 pm CDT

The Scopes Monkey Trial has nothing on the IKEA Monkey Trial.

The IKEA Monkey is a little scamp named Darwin who showed up wearing an elegant winter coat in a Toronto-area IKEA last winter. But it’s not all memes and whimsy; Darwin’s handlers are in court right now for a trial against a primate sanctuary over who holds the rights to keep the monkey.

After he was spotted in the IKEA parking lot and tweeted about, Darwin was captured by store employees and handed to animal services. Yesterday was the third time Darwin’s original owner, Yasmin Nakhuda, went to court in an effort to reclaim ownership of the Japanese snow macaque. Nakhuda had filed unsuccessfully for temporary ownership before and is now after permanent ownership. (For everything you want to know about the IKEA Monkey, including which porn star dressed up as Darwin, go here.)

Reporter Laura Kane (@ellekane) of the Toronto Star has been livetweeting the trial on Twitter, and she’s just killing it. Take, for example, a gem like this:

Nakhuda: “I would never have given Darwin up. It’s inconceivable. He’s part of us. He’s one of us. Why would I give him away?” #ikeamonkey

— Laura Kane (@ellekane) May 31, 2013

Seems Nakhuda and her husband are getting very emotional about Darwin, crying on the stand when asked about signing him over.

Nakhuda’s husband Samar Katoch says they were “in a daze” after Darwin was seized, like “being struck with a car.” #ikeamonkey

— Laura Kane (@ellekane) May 31, 2013

Nakhuda sobbing as sanctuary’s lawyer questions her about signing surrender form. “I had to sign it. I had to see him again.” #IkeaMonkey

— Laura Kane (@ellekane) May 31, 2013

That little monkey certainly knows how to capture the human heartstrings. I’ll just be here, popcorn in hand, endlessly refreshing Kane’s Twitter page until this trial is over.

H/T Laura Kane | Photo via The Times UK

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*First Published: May 31, 2013, 1:12 pm CDT