Grimes claims she had an ‘experimental’ eye surgery and practices sword fighting

By now, we all know that 31-year-old Canadian musician Grimes (aka Claire Boucher) makes unconventional choices. She recently announced that she plans to “kill off” Grimes and go by c, to represent the speed of light. She famously has held an on-again-off-again relationship with billionaire Elon Musk. And now, in an Instagram post using a photo of a recent Adidas campaign that she appears in, Grimes claims to follow an insane “training regimen” that includes an eye surgery to help cure her depression.

Confused? Read the whole post below.

View this post on Instagram

ADIDAS: Tell us about ur training regimen ? GRIMES: My training is a 360 approach. I first maintain a healthy cellular routine where I maximize the function of my mitochondria with supplements such as NAD+, Acetyl L-Carnitine, Magnesium, etc. This helps promote ATP and it’s incredibly visceral. From that point I spend 2-4 hours in my deprivation tank, this allows me to “astro-glide” to other dimensions - past, present, and future. In the afternoons I do a 1-2 hour sword fighting session with my trainer, James Lew, we go over the fundamentals that work the obliques, core stabilizes, and triceps as well as a few tricks. To wind down from this I spend 30-45 minutes on an inclined hike at roughly 4-4.5 miles per hour, arguably the most efficient workout. I then spend 45 minutes stretching before heading into the studio where my mind and body are functioning at peak level, with a neuroplastic goal between 57.5 and 71.5 AphC’s (which is my preferred range for my blood type). I’ve outfitted my studio with the highest grade of red light. It is pretty much 1000 sqf IR Sauna. Hana then comes over and we do a screaming session for 20-25 minutes while I slow boil the honey tea that maximizes vocal proficiency. I have also eliminated all blue light from my vision through an experimental surgery that removes the top film of my eyeball and replaces it with an orange ultra-flex polymer that my friend and I made in the lab this past winter as a means to cure seasonal depression. I go to bed with a humidifier on. #asmc #adidasparley #createdwithadidas #gentrifymordor

A post shared by MISS ANTHROPOCENE (@grimes) on

I know what you’re thinking: this is a joke, right?

Horrifyingly, it turns out that at least some of her post is true, with this tweet from her sword trainer making us wonder if other aspects of her “regimen” might be real as well.

The biggest question everyone has is whether the eye surgery Grimes mention in her post (see below) is real or not.

 I have also eliminated all blue light from my vision through an experimental surgery that removes the top film of my eyeball and replaces it with an orange ultra-flex polymer that my friend and I made in the lab this past winter as a means to cure seasonal depression.

A lot of people thought it was a joke.

However, articles reporting on the subject seem to have taken at least a neutral stand on it, acknowledging that the post might be satire but carefully phrasing the commentary on her eyeballs so as not to pass judgment either way. Even Rolling Stone leaves room for doubt with their line about it sounding fake unless you believe she’s performing Frankenstein-like experiments on herself, with the slight implication that she could be. 

A tweet from Dr. Glaucomflecken, who identifies himself as both an ophthalmologist and a comedian, further confused users. “The orange ultra flex polymer costs 8 million dollars and is excruciatingly painful to install,” he wrote.

 

When asked for comment by the Daily Dot, however, he said: “It is not real. What she said is ridiculous and I have to assume the whole thing was a joke.” To be fair, while his initial tweet may have missed the mark as obvious parody, this later one should have tipped people off.

And if anyone was still left confused, this one definitely should have cleared things up.

His followers definitely ran with it.

Alarmingly, some people are still considering the post’s viability.

Honestly, though, the internet doesn’t care whether it’s true or not. Grimes gave them a choice opportunity and they’re going to follow through on that.

Twitter user @vicunad found the Galaxy Brain interpretation.

In the end, user Nick Pettigrew left us asking the important questions.

READ MORE:

Siobhan Ball

Siobhan Ball

Siobhan Ball is a historian, archivist, and journalist. She also writes for Autostraddle and bi.org