- Black man films ‘Crosswalk Cathy’ yelling racist slurs at him Tuesday 6:47 PM
- Guerrilla artists turn John Oliver billboard ad into right-wing meme Tuesday 4:20 PM
- Netflix lines up unnecessarily good cast for ‘Green Eggs and Ham’ Tuesday 3:48 PM
- Netflix drops trailer for Mötley Crüe biopic ‘The Dirt’—and the cast is wild Tuesday 3:41 PM
- QAnon’s repetitive posts are alienating even his most ardent supporters Tuesday 3:36 PM
- Noah Cyrus cries on Instagram after Lil Xan’s baby announcement Tuesday 2:26 PM
- The ‘Well yes, but actually no’ meme is here to help you explain things Tuesday 12:07 PM
- Judge orders Roger Stone to appear in court after his Instagram post Tuesday 11:24 AM
- I worked with the migrant caravan—and Trump is the cause of his national emergency Tuesday 11:09 AM
- How to watch Liverpool vs. Bayern Munich online for free Tuesday 11:08 AM
- ‘Patriot Act’ volume 2 proves Hasan Minhaj is the next big star of the news-comedy genre Tuesday 11:01 AM
- ‘Friends From College’ canceled after 2 seasons at Netflix Tuesday 10:53 AM
- Allow your wallet to be your spirit guide during this rad anime sale Tuesday 10:43 AM
- Man stages fake DUI trial to propose to girlfriend, and people are asking why Tuesday 10:40 AM
- Bernie Sanders’ website full of 404s on launch day Tuesday 10:23 AM
Don’t let the government shutdown stop you from picking up hotties
If you really want to know if a major political event is really happening, turn off your TV and check Twitter.
The only good part of today’s potential-government-shutdown madness is the hashtag #shutdownpickuplines. People have been tweeting sexy ways to pick up a new boo using topical political humor. Since many employees will be off work, many of these revolve around using that free time… really well. Others are focused on the National Zoo’s panda cam, which would go dark during a shutdown. Let’s face it, that would be a disaster.
If you really want to know if a major political event is really happening, turn off your TV and check Twitter. Or just refresh this site over and over: istheusgovernmentshutdown.com.
1) Sexy Panda Cam
They may be shutting off the panda cam but I have another cam we can use tonight #ShutdownPickupLines
— beccagrawl (@beccagrawl) September 30, 2013
2) Shutdown puns
Are you furloughnsome tonight? #ShutdownPickupLines
— delrayser (@delrayser) September 30, 2013
3) Sad truths
“Can I buy you a drink? Just kidding. I’m not getting paid this month.” #ShutdownPickupLines
— Jesse Berney (@jesseberney) September 30, 2013
4) Hey girl.
Unlike some branches of government, I will always listen to you. #shutdownpickuplines
— Ari Melber (@AriMelber) September 30, 2013
5) Yogi Bear with me
Hey, Park Ranger, what are you doing tomorrow? #ShutdownPickupLines
— Delia (@DeliaCabe) September 30, 2013
6) How sweet
Baby, I let the government shut down, so I could spend the whole day with you #ShutdownPickupLines
— Matt Vasilogambros (@MattVas) September 30, 2013
7) Gross but great
Let’s see if some backdoor negotiations can help move things along #shutdownpickuplines
— John Simpson (@jsimpsonftw) September 30, 2013
Why don’t we sequester ourselves in the bedroom… #shutdownpickuplines
— Mary Fuller (@maryinzambia) September 30, 2013
9) Boehner joke +1
Upset at the speaker? I know one boehner that can please you all shutdown long. #ShutdownPickupLines
— Ben Carlos (@SoBendito) September 30, 2013
10) Check. Mate.
— Lathaniel Cooper (@lathaniel) September 30, 2013
Photo via Tom Lohdan/Flickr
Gaby Dunn is an actress, comedian, and blogger who covered YouTube for the Daily Dot. Since 2016, she’s hosted the podcast ‘Bad with Money,’ and operates a successful YouTube channel. Her writing has appeared in the New York Times, the Boston Globe, Vice, and Salon.