Basket full of Assyrian clay tablets

Twitter/serbiaireland

Assyrian clay tablets are the forbidden crackers to go with the ancient cheese and sarcophagus juice

Who's hungry?

 

Siobhan Ball

Internet Culture

Posted on Oct 13, 2020

Twitter user @serbiaireland shared the latest, greatest forbidden snack with us all today: a basket full of Ancient Assyrian clay tablets that look just exactly like a big pile of shredded wheat.

"Anyone hungry? A bowl of 4000-5000 years old Assyrian tablets, with letters, contracts and receipts...https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Old_Assyrian_Empire" Basket of Assyrian tablets that look exactly like shredded wheat
@serbiaireland

The tablets are letters, which even came with their own special clay envelopes to protect the etched in letters from being dinged off in transit.

"By the way, these clay "documents" were sent to their recipients in appropriate clay "envelops"...Seriously cool..."  picture of the tablets with their clay wrappers half cracked off to show the tablet inside
@serbiaireland

But let’s be real. They look like something you want to put in your mouth.

"Make it edible, they're too yummy for this" embed of original tweet
ItsMefsckingAbe
"I call that ancient grains" embed of original tweet
ItsMefsckingAbe
"cronch cronch cronch" embed of original tweet
ItsMefsckingAbe

There is, of course, some discourse over what kind of snack the tablets actually resemble. Are they crackers…or cereal?

"The forbidden Chex" embed of original tweet
ReallyNotOwen5
"Forbidden shreddies" embed of original tweet
ReallyNotOwen5
"cereales del mercadona but make it asirio" embed of original tweet
ReallyNotOwen5

And some killjoys advised against eating the forbidden cereal.

"DO NOT EAT THE TABLETS." embed of original tweet
@digi_hammurabi
"unfrosted mini wheats are nasty, good riddance to this society" original tweet embedded
@digi_hammurabi

However, most of Twitter is agreed, 10/10 would crack teeth on.

"Please let me eat the priceless Assyrian artifacts and wash it down with the sarcophagus liquid" embed of the original tweet
@digi_hammurabi
it's crackers to accompany the ancient wine and cheese
@shcrtern12
https://www.dailydot.com/debug/trump-tiktok-ban-delayed/
@shcrtern12

Twitter user @standfastonhigh even suggested that eating them might lift the 2020 curse. It’s been quite a year, so who’s willing to take one for the team?

"Someone eat these, maybe it'll lift the 2020 curse" embed of original tweet
@shcrtern12
Keeps hunger locked up for thousands of years until it is finally freed, unleashing a terrible vengeance on the living
@eleanorkpenny

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*First Published: Oct 13, 2020, 1:45 pm CDT