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Florida finds out the left lane is for passing only in bombshell news report
Everyone thinks their state’s drivers are the worst, but Florida’s are apparently so bad that Tampa Bay’s Fox affiliate reported the discovery of a heretofore unknown “passing lane” located on the left side of the freeway.
It was previously believed that the area was fallow land, only suitable for occupation by a bunch of stupid jamokes traveling at the legal speed limit. The revelation that the lane can be used by faster vehicles to pass slower ones could entirely change the way Floridians drive.
Citing police sources, Fox 13 Tampa Bay reported the unbelievable news that “you can get fined—even for driving the speed limit.”
“A lot of people want to get in that lane and drive the speed limit, but that’s not what that lane is for. And it drives people absolutely crazy when they get in that lane and people are driving the speed limit,” Officer Roy Paz of the Tampa PD told the station, blowing minds statewide.
Some Florida residents believe this “left passing lane” thing must be a government scam.
“State officials figured out how to abstract more money out of there citizens,” theorized one Facebook commenter.
Others aren’t sure it even exists, or complies with the laws of physics:
“It’s seems like the right lane is the passing lane whenever I’m out and about,” another commenter wrote.
“Passing lane? Passing what? Whenever I use 75 it’s a parking lot, all 3 lanes,” someone else added.
“Yea I don’t think we’re all gonna fit in one lane lol and get anywhere on time,” a third incredulous poster chimed in.
A U.S. presidential election is underway, and a man hijacked a plane in Egypt on Tuesday, but the unearthing of Florida’s mysterious “passing lane” will have further-reaching, longer-lasting effects. It should go down in history as the most important news broken in March of 2016.
Fox 13, your Peabody is in the mail.
Screengrab via Fox 13 Tampa
Jay Hathaway is a former senior writer who specialized in internet memes and weird online culture. He previously served as the Daily Dot’s news editor, was a staff writer at Gawker, and edited the classic websites Urlesque and Download Squad. His work has also appeared on nymag.com, suicidegirls.com, and the Morning News.