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This psychic Finnish cucumber is predicting the outcomes of Euro 2016 matches
This produce has a gift!
This isn’t the first time an unlikely seer has predicted the outcome of heated matches. During the 2010 World Cup, the go-to oracle was a beloved octopus named Paul.
Unfortunately, Paul died shortly after the 2010 World Cup ended. Fortunately, a cucumber with an impossible to pronounce name lives!
All hail Ennustajakurkku! May he live forever!
Though the source of the cucumber’s powers are unknown, its origins appear to be of the humble supermarket variety. In early posts, Ennustajakurkku can be seen wearing its original plastic casing, which was later removed to let the cherished produce breathe.
Regardless of how much plastic it wears, the cucumber relies on the same method to predict the outcome of each match: spinning between two labeled pieces of paper until fate brings it to a stop. The blunt end of the cucumber is the divining arrow—it points at the winner.
Ennustajakurkku follows the games closely, always posting the same deadpan message in his native Finnish when a prediction comes true:
“I announced this.”
Earlier today, the cucumber confidently predicted a clear victory for Wales over Russia. He’s pictured here, without his casing, and seems despite long hours of diving sports victories to be in good health.
Nayomi Reghay is a frequent contributor to the Daily Dot, covering body positivity, feminism, sex, relationships, and gender. She is also the author of the advice column “Swipe This!” A former New York Teaching Fellow, her writing has been featured in Reductress, Rolling Stone, Mic, Someecards, and more.