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An escaped herd of buffalo just charged into New York traffic

Run free, you magnificent beasts!

Mar 1, 2020, 5:07 am*

Internet Culture

Spike Friedman 

Spike Friedman

From the nation that brought you “llamas running around a southwestern urban environment” comes: “Buffalo running around in upstate New York.” 

Seems a dozen or so bison escaped from a farm in Schodack, N.Y., swam across the Hudson river and are now running free in the area. The animals have already broken through police lines twice, showing blatant disrespect for the law. Here is the poorly shot video to prove it:

Look at them go! Look at the newsmen and police follow! But are these bison just running free, or is there something far more sinister afoot? Let’s investigate:

Hmmmm, this is fishy. How do the bison know to stay on the side of the road? My guess: these bison have been studying people for a long time, planning their escape meticulously (by the standards of bison escapes). 

But why?

Oh god, they live with crazy buffalo murderers. I mean, what the hell is going on in the Mesick house? Of course these bison are on the run! They’re refugees from a serial killer!

Also, we get it George, you love killing bison. That doesn’t mean you have room to mount two on the wall of your split-level. Also, if you’re so good at killing bison, WHY ARE THERE DOZENS OF BISON ROAMING THE ALBANY REGION, GEORGE? RIDDLE ME THAT, DR. BUFFLEKILL!

And, again: Where are they going?

The New York State Thruway that connects Albany to… Buffalo? Oh no, you beautiful idiots! The city of Buffalo isn’t what you bison think it is! Run anywhere else. Literally anywhere else.

That said, guys, if you need a fellow beast to explain to you how to make the most of your stay in eastern New York, here’s Seahawks running back Marshawn Lynch on Buffalo’s nightlife:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h2uN28EJRlA

Update 1:30pm CT, April 24: Welp, things are getting out of hand:

https://twitter.com/patrickdodson/status/591654658071998465

https://twitter.com/patrickdodson/status/591658465803767809

But on the lighter side:

Photo via Kabsik Park/Flickr (CC BY 2.0) 

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*First Published: Apr 24, 2015, 1:58 pm