After World Cup defeat, England turns to Twitter with world-class defeatist humor

For only the second time since 1950, England lost back-to-back games at a World Cup Thursday.

 

Ramon Ramirez

Internet Culture

Published Jun 19, 2014   Updated May 31, 2021, 2:33 am CDT

England’s hopes of surviving Group D in the World Cup are mathematically alive.

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But for only the second time since 1950, England lost back-to-back games at a World Cup Thursday. The Three Lions matched a dastardly Luis Suárez goal in the 75th minute when Wayne Rooney flicked in a gorgeous cross from Gary Johnson. England dominated possession (62 percent) and would finish with more shots on goal.

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But just 10 minutes after the equalizer, Suárez struck again to give Uruguay a pivotal three points.

England’s fading chances of advancing to the knockout rounds depend on Friday’s Italy and Costa Rica game. If they’re still alive heading into game 3 on Tuesday, England must then pour on the firepower against Costa Rica, win, and hope for a goal differential miracle. 

Two #ITA wins + #ENG beats #CRC + slight GD reversal = #ENG through. Not entirely impossible

— Seth Vertelney (@svertgoalcom) June 19, 2014

What’s much more likely, unfortunately, is that England’s World Cup dreams have been rudely awakened like someone with a hungry cat nipping at their feet well before the alarm clock. Credit the English, at least, for handling defeat with deft expertise and self-loathing wit, and then finding ways to break this fragile national truce by leveling insults at players from rival Premier League clubs.

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This must be what it’s like to support spurs. #ENG

— Feverpitch (@feverpitch) June 19, 2014

Or just plain leveling bile at the talent assembled for the floundering national team.

This #ENG team wouldn’t even finish top-4 in the Premier League.

— Rashad (@TalkofFutbol) June 19, 2014

And all the while John Terry was probably sitting in a holiday bar with his England kit on #eng #uru

— Ian Hyland (@HylandIan) June 19, 2014

Sir Alex Ferguson: “Gerrard is not a top top player.” Remember this words? #MUFC #ENG.

— FootballTransferNews (@FTransferNews) June 19, 2014

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And reminding everyone that, hey, things aren’t so bad—our beloved Premier League is just around the corner.

COUNTDOWN: Just 58 days left until the Premier League is back. #ENG

— Squawka Football (@Squawka) June 19, 2014

There were instant memes that stung like cleats to an ankle.

England right now. #EnglandvsUruguay #ENG pic.twitter.com/ErdXK7VFT1

— Erin Ruberry (@erinruberry) June 19, 2014

England 1 – Luis Suarez 2: The best of the early Memes & Photoshops http://t.co/YQKaht801v #ENG #URU pic.twitter.com/ctL4YdmSYJ

— 101 Great Goals (@102greatgoals) June 19, 2014

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And because it’s the English, defeatist humor was world-class.

“England had morale and stamina in full measure; skill only a modicum; and of luck, none at all” The Times on 1958 group stage exit #ENG

— Steve Tongue (@stevetongue) June 19, 2014

#Eng aren’t out yet. We can still qualify if Elvis runs a 3-minute mile whilst being abducted by 4 aliens singing a Coldplay song. #Worldcup

— Damien Cross (@DC_F1) June 19, 2014

Worth repeating: #eng just lost to a team whose left back was unconscious for part of the match. #uru

— Gavan Reilly (@gavreilly) June 19, 2014

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Steven Gerrard heat map!! #URU #ENG pic.twitter.com/8fSPsZMxK6

— The Football Jester (@FootballJester) June 19, 2014

Luis Suarez less than a month ago #ENG #URU pic.twitter.com/nO6VcbbbwB

— MailOnline Sport (@MailSport) June 19, 2014

Maybe England would have done better had they received their full allocation of owls.

— Guy Walters (@guywalters) June 19, 2014

ah yes Wimbledon next where English players will be more successful at getting the ball in the net. #ENG

— Polemic Paine (@PolemicTMM) June 19, 2014

England will have a new captain next week. The pilot on board the British Airways flight back to Heathrow. #ENG

— Emile Heskey (@Not_EmileHeskey) June 19, 2014

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While not particularly witty, rest assured that Daily Dot contributor Ned Donovan was staunchly sad. His heart filled with sour grapes.

So I don’t have to care about football for another four years.

— Ned Donovan (@Ned_Donovan) June 19, 2014

And of course, non-English haters chimed in too.

Why exactly do English people like soccer so much if they’re so bad at it?

— Dan Solomon (@dansolomon) June 19, 2014

Just to rub it in for #eng, a Scotland supporter was spotted in the crowd among the #uru fans http://t.co/R29pNkfOW5 pic.twitter.com/Im6Cax99JK

— Bleacher Report UK (@br_uk) June 19, 2014

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But look, a few days ago England wanted Wayne Rooney’s foot deep fried and served with chips. His lack of big moments on the world stage made him a popular scapegoat.

At least it wasn’t his fault.

Photo via robinrimbaud/Flickr (CC BY 2.0)

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*First Published: Jun 19, 2014, 6:44 pm CDT