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Oh bae, you shouldn’t have. You really, really shouldn’t have.
There’s a new “mail your friends something they never asked for and likely do not want”-style business out there. But this time, they’re not hawking glitter. Eggplantmail.com wants to help you mail your friend, your bae, or even your enemy a real-life eggplant emoji.
For the low cost of $9.99, Eggplantmail.com sends an anonymous package to the address of your choice. And when your love, or victim, opens the package they’ll be greeted by a very phallic-looking eggplant.
Wait, do you mean they just ship them an eggplant?
Well, yes, that’s exactly what we mean. It’s literally just an eggplant. But they will spruce it up with a marker and message of your choice.
The phrases suggested on their site show that this could be sort of sweet.
Or kind of bitter.
Or terribly, terribly creepy.
That said, we do know emoji users have more active sex lives. Perhaps a little eggplant in the mail could get bae in the mood?
Imgur user glowingflower received one such package for her birthday. From her post, she seemed less than enthused.
Besides turning off the recipient, there is one other small caveat to the “gift,” as stated in the FAQ section of the website.
Can I Eat The Eggplant I Receive? – No. Please don’t. We don’t recommend eating these eggplant as they have ink on them and can pick up germs during shipping. We are not liable for any illness if you eat the eggplant.
Well, there goes dinner.
Photo via Eggplantmail.com
Nayomi Reghay is a frequent contributor to the Daily Dot, covering body positivity, feminism, sex, relationships, and gender. She is also the author of the advice column “Swipe This!” A former New York Teaching Fellow, her writing has been featured in Reductress, Rolling Stone, Mic, Someecards, and more.