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Masked gang invades restaurant, but this dude couldn’t care less
And lo, no f**ks were given that day.
Look at unfavorable restaurant reviews online and you’ll find complaints about slow service, undercooked food, grating noise. In other parts of the world, there are bigger problems to contend with while dining out, like an invasion of a couple dozen violent thugs in masks.
The purportedly Russian security footage below shows a gang in white armbands—also worn by pro-Russian soldiers and civilian militia in the Crimean conflict—swarming into a peaceful establishment and initiating a brawl. (In method they resembled a mafia gang that stormed an Italian eatery in Russia as part of a protection racket earlier this year, seriously injuring several employees.) But while everyone else joins the melee or flees the scene, one unimpressed customer sits calmly at his table and waits for the whole thing to blow over.
Did this badass know exactly what was going to happen? Was he actually in on it? Perhaps. But we prefer to believe that he was hoping, nay, praying for someone to lay a finger on him so that he could try out that Krav Maga wrist break he’d been working on. Maybe next time!
Photo via Shemsu.Hor/Flickr (CC BY ND 2.0)
Miles Klee is a novelist and web culture reporter. The former editor of the Daily Dot’s Unclick section, Klee’s essays, satire, and fiction have appeared in Lapham’s Quarterly, Vanity Fair, 3:AM, Salon, the Awl, the New York Observer, the Millions, and the Village Voice. He's the author of two odd books of fiction, 'Ivyland' and 'True False.'