On Monday morning, CNN interviewed a couple of first-time voters, including a young, blond Republican who put viewers in mind of every snide, privileged teen boy in fiction. Tom Crean, who is legally old enough to vote, says he plans to exercise his privilege in favor of Donald Trump, the candidate whose views and hairstyle most resemble his own.
— CNN Newsroom (@CNNnewsroom) November 7, 2016
Crean, a member of the George Washington Young Republicans, has been viciously owned with repeated comparisons to Draco Malfoy, a member of House Slytherin.
who let draco malfoy vote pic.twitter.com/65sx5LlIau
— yehoak on march 7th (@yehoak) November 7, 2016
"Where Are They Now: The Kids of Hogwarts" Draco Malfoy started his own VC firm and cast his first-ever vote for an orange monster. https://t.co/l7EWssdcNw
— Zombie Journalist. Grrr. Arrrgh. (@thewayoftheid) November 7, 2016
— Samantha Rise (@samantharise) November 7, 2016
Why is Draco Malfoy allowed to vote in the US election? Didn't he just vote for BREXIT? https://t.co/mHOzkpegeT
— Nate Lipke (@EvilN8) November 7, 2016
CNN's millennial Donald Trump supporter looks prety much exactly how you would have expected pic.twitter.com/3Ib61gVZLB
— Alex Griswold (@HashtagGriswold) November 7, 2016
— GloriousOutRAYge (@theoutRAYgeous) November 7, 2016
And if not Malfoy, he’s that shining example of benevolent wealth-hoarders, Richard “Richie” $ Rich, Jr. Although Richie was forever young in his comics and cartoons, it seems he’s now old enough to cast his first vote for a fellow billionaire.
Wow, hard to believe Richie Rich is finally old enough to vote. https://t.co/UiIgxQaEEO
— john warren hanawalt (@H4N4W4LT) November 7, 2016
TIL Richie Rich is now old enough to vote. https://t.co/YJIH7PANNV
— Nation Grey (@NationGrey) November 7, 2016
Richie Rich https://t.co/wIEy0e7wqZ
— #FIREGARPAX (@eugenehu) November 7, 2016
What Rich—I mean, “Tom Crean,” would like CNN to know is that he finds Trump to be a “compassionate” genius whose apparent faults are all a ruse created by his many political enemies. Unlike the majority of his fellow millennials, Malfoy is apparently able to see through the conjurations of the dark wizard Clinton and discern what’s really in Trump’s heart.
J.K. Rowling has already equated Trump to Voldemort, so it’s not like this is even a step down for the 2016 election discourse.
How horrible. Voldemort was nowhere near as bad. https://t.co/hFO0XmOpPH
— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) December 8, 2015
It will all be over soon.