On Monday morning, CNN interviewed a couple of first-time voters, including a young, blond Republican who put viewers in mind of every snide, privileged teen boy in fiction. Tom Crean, who is legally old enough to vote, says he plans to exercise his privilege in favor of Donald Trump, the candidate whose views and hairstyle most resemble his own.
First time voters tell @CarolCNN who they’re voting for. One says: “There is a huge split among us.” https://t.co/dEMsPutgDR
— CNN News Central (@NewsCentralCNN) November 7, 2016
Crean, a member of the George Washington Young Republicans, has been viciously owned with repeated comparisons to Draco Malfoy, a member of House Slytherin.
https://twitter.com/yehoak/status/795672717445971968
“Where Are They Now: The Kids of Hogwarts” Draco Malfoy started his own VC firm and cast his first-ever vote for an orange monster. https://t.co/l7EWssdcNw
— Your Tiny Journalist Friend. (@thewayoftheid) November 7, 2016
We’ll, we all knew #DracoMalfoy was gonna vote for Voldemort… the grand wizard, too. Let’s keep looking for the other #horcruxes. https://t.co/VsM2rLXZUf
— BLACK TRANS LIBERATION (@samantharise) November 7, 2016
Why is Draco Malfoy allowed to vote in the US election? Didn’t he just vote for BREXIT? https://t.co/mHOzkpegeT
— Nate Lipke (@EvilN8) November 7, 2016
https://twitter.com/HashtagGriswold/status/795639157188132869
https://twitter.com/RayInSaintPaul/status/795663712522792960
And if not Malfoy, he’s that shining example of benevolent wealth-hoarders, Richard “Richie” $ Rich, Jr. Although Richie was forever young in his comics and cartoons, it seems he’s now old enough to cast his first vote for a fellow billionaire.
https://twitter.com/thelastwalt/status/795663024589717504
TIL Richie Rich is now old enough to vote. https://t.co/YJIH7PANNV
— Nation Grey (@NationGrey) November 7, 2016
Richie Rich https://t.co/wIEy0e7wqZ
— 8084.eth (@eugenehu) November 7, 2016
What Rich—I mean, “Tom Crean,” would like CNN to know is that he finds Trump to be a “compassionate” genius whose apparent faults are all a ruse created by his many political enemies. Unlike the majority of his fellow millennials, Malfoy is apparently able to see through the conjurations of the dark wizard Clinton and discern what’s really in Trump’s heart.
J.K. Rowling has already equated Trump to Voldemort, so it’s not like this is even a step down for the 2016 election discourse.
How horrible. Voldemort was nowhere near as bad. https://t.co/hFO0XmOpPH
— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) December 8, 2015
It will all be over soon.
