Forget your anonymous glitterbombs. That’s amateur-hour. Now there’s Dicks by Mail, a service that literally sends a bag of dicks to anyone you choose.
For $15 plus shipping, this company will send an edible arrangement of gummy candies shaped like the male sexual organ to get your message across in a style that’s impossible to ignore.
Every order comes with a message saying “Eat a bag of dicks.” There is no customization allowed. “We feel its best if the same message is delivered to all. It keeps people guessing,” reads the company’s FAQ.
Customers remain completely anonymous troublemakers. Recipients get a bag of candy dicks. It’s that easy.
You will remain anonymous and silently chuckle to yourself for years to come as you picture them slowly degrading into a shell of the person they once were, always questioning their lives “Who sent this to me?”, “Are there more dicks on their way?” and “Why does this keep happening to me?!”. Yes their slow decent into madness will be much tastier than the bag of candy dicks you sent to them.
What are you waiting for? Send a bag of dicks today!
It bears mentioning that this is a different service from Ship a Dick, a service that sends giant cardboard dicks in the mail. The newer, flashier Dicks by Mail maintains its good-natured approach with a subtle disclaimer on its “About” page:
This site was created to put a smile on peoples faces. It’s not meant to be a threat or a way to bully. If you are sending this with the intent to ruin someones day, then maybe its you who needs to eat a bag of dicks.
Comedy fans may appreciate the reference to Louis C.K.’s take on the phrase “suck a bag of dicks.” With Dicks by Mail, the act has never been so possible.
H/T Pixable | Screengrab via YouTube/Dicks by Mail