How to get your “sex face” camera ready

What do you look like during sex? And do you want to know?

Internet Culture

Published May 4, 2012   Updated Jun 2, 2021, 5:36 pm CDT

Beth Cook is a dating coach and wing-woman who throws private dating events for San Francisco’s most awesome and unattached. She also writes and draws about her own dating experiences and would love to hear from you. Want advice? Have advice? Send her an email.

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Last Saturday was “girls night out”—a periodic dude-less night dedicated to high-heels, heavy drinking, and the dirtiest talk you can imagine from otherwise classy females.

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We leave no sex, dating, or relationship stone unturned—and hilarity always ensues, often around one standout topic. This week’s gem: “sex face.”

You’ve probably never looked at your own face while having sex with someone, but I suggest you sneak a little mirror under your pillow this week and take a look (or at least start cultivating some awareness of the face you’re making).

Your lover could be the next person to “Like” the “I DUMPED YOU BECAUSE OF YOUR SEX FACE” page on Facebook.

I’m sure men and women are even on the bad “sex face” front. However, I doubt a guy would stop having sex with someone because of a bad sex face, and I bet a gal would. (I’ve seen plenty of women dismiss guys based on their footwear and drink orders—sheesh.)

I don’t want you to be the next dude dumped due to a frozen facial expression, so I’m gonna tell you what women want in a “sex face.” Warning: this isn’t going to be easy.

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At girls night, the two most common complaints were:

1) “Blank face”

Your eyes are open, and you’re staring right at her. When she opens her eyes, there you are—staring. Yikes! She gets self-conscious because she thinks you’ve been creepily staring at her the entire time (which you probably have), and she’s wondering what the hell you’re thinking about because it doesn’t seem to be her.

2) “Kid-in-a-candy-store face”

There are variations on this theme. Your eyes are probably wide open. You might have your tongue hanging out of your mouth a little. Basically, you’re making whatever face you made at age 12 playing your favorite video game. Now, women want you to be excited about having sex with them, but they also want the sex to be sexy (not like they are pornographic entertainment for an adolescent).

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OK, so the trick is to find a happy medium between these two faces. You can open your eyes here and there (eye contact is good), but don’t leave them open forever. Smile and let her know you’re enjoying the experience, but don’t ogle her the whole time. And for goodness sakes, keep the kissing going; lulls in kissing can get awkward, especially if you are new lovers, and it gives her an opportunity to notice your weird sex face!

Now get out there, and put your best face on. Hopefully it doesn’t look anything like these awful celebrity “sex faces.”

Photo by istolethetv

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*First Published: May 4, 2012, 12:44 pm CDT