- Behold these photos of Elon Musk, but with Elizabeth Holmes’ eyes 3 Years Ago
- Barbra Streisand gets canceled over remarks about Michael Jackson’s alleged victims Today 2:09 PM
- Report: Florida man raped Texas teen after posing as Instagram celeb Today 12:14 PM
- Lori Loughlin’s daughters, Olivia and Isabella, could be banned from USC forever Today 11:46 AM
- ‘Starfish’ is a heartbreaking tale of BFFs, grief, and apocalyptic alien invasions Today 10:35 AM
- How to stream UFC Fight Night 148 for free Today 10:00 AM
- The kids are making scantron memes instead of studying Today 9:29 AM
- Every installment of Hulu’s ‘Into the Dark,’ ranked Today 6:00 AM
- The internet is mocking Robert Mueller’s report deadline Friday 7:53 PM
- Instagram blocks some anti-vax hashtags—but still has far to go Friday 6:20 PM
- Study: Netflix released more originals than licensed titles last year Friday 2:26 PM
- Laura Ingraham, Dinesh D’Souza slam journalist for having a job Friday 1:40 PM
- Netflix is testing a cheap-as-hell mobile-only plan Friday 1:08 PM
- Astrology app Co-Star’s bizarre push notifications are now a meme Friday 12:18 PM
- ‘The Dirt’ offers a sanitized history of Mötley Crüe—but why? Friday 11:42 AM
Women tear apart garbage advice on talking to women wearing headphones
Just don’t do it.
The internet’s wheel of fate has turned again and determined that the garbage #content beaming into your eyeballs on Twitter dot com today will be… “bad advice about how to approach women wearing headphones.”
Hoo boy, here we go.
This is the controversial guide circulating right now, originally published in 2013 on pickup website the Modern Man and seemingly ignored altogether. It offers a typical “nice guy” approach to getting a woman’s attention:
In case it’s not obvious, the fatal flaw of this advice is twofold: One, it’s oblivious to women’s safety—you may know you don’t mean any harm, but she doesn’t. You’re asking (or, in this case, practically demanding) that she take the risk of interacting with you.
Oh, and two? Headphones are the universal “do not disturb” signal, and you just ignored it.
Don’t take my word for it, though. Women on Twitter have overwhelmingly mocked and rejected the Modern Man’s advice, and many men aren’t crazy about it, either.
Men talk to me when I’m wearing headphones all the time but it only annoys me because I lose my place in the Longform podcast.
— Hayley Campbell (@hayleycampbell) August 30, 2016
man: I dont normally talk to girls w/headphones
woman: [laughing, enjoying the interaction]
narrator: she was not enjoying the interaction
— Rose Driscoll (@roseudriscoll) August 30, 2016
HOW TO TALK TO A WOMAN WEARING HEADPHONES:
– punch self in face
– when she removes headphones, apologize for thinking she owes you her time
— Chuck Wendig (@ChuckWendig) August 29, 2016
And Jezebel even published a spoof article, “How to Talk to a Woman Who is Trying to Take a Dump,” which points up the absurdity of the original, line by line.
But all jokes aside, how DO you approach a woman wearing headphones? Some women offered a very solid alternative to the Modern Man’s instructions:
Headphones are the universal warning, they are the rattle on the rattle snake, a hissing arched cat, a brightly colored frog: STAY AWAY
— Duchess of Beefcake (@tthcomic) August 30, 2016
Well, there you go.
No one’s saying you’re not allowed to start conversations, just that you shouldn’t start conversations with people who are literally covering or plugging their ears because they don’t want to talk.
Jay Hathaway is a former senior writer who specialized in internet memes and weird online culture. He previously served as the Daily Dot’s news editor, was a staff writer at Gawker, and edited the classic websites Urlesque and Download Squad. His work has also appeared on nymag.com, suicidegirls.com, and the Morning News.