Alex Jones

Screengrab via CrunchTime/YouTube

What if Amazon Alexa were voiced by conspiracy theorist Alex Jones?

Alexa will tell you how to cook a chicken. Alexa Jones will tell you the truth.


David Britton

Internet Culture

Posted on Jun 19, 2017   Updated on May 23, 2021, 2:37 am CDT

Some people think that Alex Jones is just a crazy, right-wing conspiracy theorist whose anger and outlandish claims made him entertaining enough to be popular. Others just can’t get enough.

But now everyone can have the firebrand behind InfoWars telling them the hard truths that the sheeple and liberal nerd cucks of America aren’t ready to hear. Or at least they could, if this parody YouTube commercial for a new (improved?) Amazon Echo were real. The Echo comes equipped with Alexa, a personal assistant who can compile a grocery list or read you a story before bed. The version imagined in this satirical commercial comes equipped with Alexa Jones, who can tell you how the government orchestrated 9/11, or how putting chemicals in the water turns frogs gay.

The clip features the whitest of white suburban families getting verbally abused by their new device, which tells them it will teach them about “The sexual pleasure of eating turds” and that “They’re growing humanoids up inside cows and inside pigs.” both of which are actual quotes from Jones. In fact, every thing Alexa Jones says in the commercial is an actual sound bite taken from Jones himself, who apparently once said, “almost every guinea pig is horribly deformed with their testicles on top of their heads.”

Living with Alexa Jones is so much more intense than having a device that just plays music or tells you the distance to the moon, which by the way, we’ve totally been to (although Jones says the footage is fake).


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*First Published: Jun 19, 2017, 1:35 pm CDT