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Read Hannibal’s thoughts on animals in this spot-on Twitter parody

These tweets are art. 

Photo of Gavia Baker-Whitelaw

Gavia Baker-Whitelaw

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The dialogue in NBC’s Hannibal has always been a little… odd. It’s difficult to imagine any real person speaking in the florid metaphors of Hannibal Lecter’s conversational style, although that’s really just one of his many charms.

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With the show’s second season recently ending in a maelstrom of bloodshed, we have a long wait before we get to hear Hannibal and Will Graham pick their way through another subtext-laden conversation. In the meantime, one surprisingly accurate Twitter account has decided to pick up the slack: @ZooHannibal.

Your jailers look at you and see a scavenger, raccoon. I see rather a cunning survivor who understands the fallacy of altruism.

— Hannibal At The Zoo (@ZooHannibal) May 29, 2014

The concept is simple, but perfectly executed. What would Hannibal Lecter say during a trip to the zoo? The result is hilariously true to the character’s style, mixing highbrow cultural references with punchlines about death and animal nature.

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When Michelangelo finished the Pieta, he carved his name in Mary’s sash. This same impulse led you to eat a hole in the side of your pigpen.

— Hannibal At The Zoo (@ZooHannibal) May 27, 2014

The monkey touches himself not to feel pleasure, but to demonstrate to the zookeeper that he cannot be controlled.

— Hannibal At The Zoo (@ZooHannibal) May 24, 2014

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These geese mate for life, ensuring that even as they succumb to madness and sin, they bring with them a sympathetic confessor.

— Hannibal At The Zoo (@ZooHannibal) May 24, 2014

If you were to escape, tortoise, you would be forgotten almost immediately, invisible. It is your enclosure that makes you a god.

— Hannibal At The Zoo (@ZooHannibal) May 23, 2014

Whoever @ZooHannibal is, they’re on a role. The account only started up a week ago, and it already has more than 10,000 followers—including Hannibal showrunner Bryan Fuller.

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Photo via nbchannibal/Tumblr

 
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