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16 geeky Halloween candies that you’ll want to hoard for yourself

Don't be the boring neighbor who hands out orange Kit Kat bars this year.

Oct 23, 2019, 3:19 pm*

Internet Culture

Amrita Khalid 

Amrita Khalid

While Halloween should be the premier candy holiday of the year, it’s hard to ignore the plain, cold truth: Most Halloween candy is boring

Candy corn, widely considered the official candy mascot of Halloween, is  deeply polarizing. Navigating the seasonal candy aisles during Halloween is an exercise in disappointment. Many candy makers phone it in for trick-or-treating season and merely deliver fun-size, pumpkin, or ghoul-shaped versions of their classics. Guess what? A pumpkin-shaped Snickers bar tastes exactly the same as a regular Snickers bar. Most people might actually prefer their Snickers in the regular bar form, rather than some amorphous, pumpkin-shaped facsimile. Even worse, “fun-size” bars are rarely as fun their name implies, as Gawker reported last year in a meticulous taste-test

In other cases, garish orange-and-green dyes detract from once perfectly delicious sweets. Halloween Oreos have a traffic-cone orange cream center, but misleadingly taste exactly like the original. Orange-colored “white-kreme” covered Kit Kats taste sickeningly sweet and look positively radioactive. 

 

But worry not, seasonal candy aficionados. There are plenty of Halloween candy options available on the Internet that will outdo your drugstore’s staid offerings in a heartbeat. Some get points for creativity or creepiness over taste (i.e. gummies in the shape of human body parts). Others, like candy bodily fluids, are just downright gross. But they all step up Halloween’s candy game considerably. 

Here are some weird, geeky and otherwise unique alternatives to your typical Halloween drugstore candy: 

1) Creature Eye Lollipops

Halloween candySucking on T-Rex’s eyeball can be strangely appetizing. 

Price on Amazon: $24.99

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2) Gummy Body Parts

Halloween candy body parts

A lovely variety of gummy vital organs and appendages. 

Price on Amazon: $13

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3) Ant Lollipops

Halloween lollipopsAn alternative source of protein. 

 

Price on Amazon: $8.50

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4) Day of the Dead Gummies

These Day of the Dead gummies can pull a double shift for both Dios de la Muerte and Halloween. 

Price on Amazon: $12.50

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5) Goofy Monster Lollipops

Halloween candy pops

They’re not scary, but they sure are adorbs.

Price on Amazon: $22.96

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6) Gummy Candy Skulls  

These gummy candy skulls aren’t spooky enough to be unappetizing. 

Price on Amazon: $14.99

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6) Tie-Dye Lollipops

Perfect to accompany your last-minute hippie costume. 

Price on Amazon: $39.49

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7) Witch Fingers

Some bling to make you the envy of every witch in the coven. 

Price on Amazon: $9.88

8) Gummi Teeth 

These gummies might distract you from the damage you’re doing to your actual pearly whites. 

Price on Amazon: $19.99

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9) Candy Urine

 

Give these containers of sour liquid candy “urine” out on Halloween if you want trick-or-treaters to avoid you next year. 

Price on Amazon: $29.95

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10) Tequila Worm Lollipops

For those sticking to the Paleo diet, these tequila worm lollipops won’t disappoint.

Price on Amazon: $6.25

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11) Zombie Hand Gummy Lollipops 

These zombie hand lollipops are smaller than actual hands, which is good news for your sugar intake. 

Price on Amazon: $8.95

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12) Star Wars Candy Lightsabers

In celebration of the new Star Wars film hitting theaters this winter, why not break out the candy lightsabers? Warning: Due to their hefty price tag, these M&M lightsabers are probably best to save for your favorite and/or actual kids. 

Price on Amazon: $122.88

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13) Mummy Nutter Butters


Sure, these Nutter Butters decorated as mummies and bats aren’t technically candy, but being wrapped in white chocolate doesn’t really help matters. 

 

Price on Amazon: $34.99

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14) Spider Chocolates

These guys don’t look too bright, so you may as well eat them.

Price on Amazon: $11.75

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15) Chocolate-covered Pumpkin Oreos

Philadelphia Candies Milk Chocolate Covered OREO Cookies, Halloween Pumpkin 8 Ounce

Almost cute too eat (but not quite).

Price on Amazon: $14.95

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16) Unicorn Tails

Licorice has never been so colorful (or magical!).

Price on Amazon: $12.99

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*First Published: Oct 23, 2015, 9:00 am