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16 geeky Halloween candies that you’ll want to hoard for yourself
Don’t be the boring neighbor who hands out orange Kit Kat bars this year.
Candy corn, widely considered the official candy mascot of Halloween, is deeply polarizing. Navigating the seasonal candy aisles during Halloween is an exercise in disappointment. Many candy makers phone it in for trick-or-treating season and merely deliver fun-size, pumpkin, or ghoul-shaped versions of their classics. Guess what? A pumpkin-shaped Snickers bar tastes exactly the same as a regular Snickers bar. Most people might actually prefer their Snickers in the regular bar form, rather than some amorphous, pumpkin-shaped facsimile. Even worse, “fun-size” bars are rarely as fun their name implies, as Gawker reported last year in a meticulous taste-test.
In other cases, garish orange-and-green dyes detract from once perfectly delicious sweets. Halloween Oreos have a traffic-cone orange cream center, but misleadingly taste exactly like the original. Orange-colored “white-kreme” covered Kit Kats taste sickeningly sweet and look positively radioactive.
But worry not, seasonal candy aficionados. There are plenty of Halloween candy options available on the Internet that will outdo your drugstore’s staid offerings in a heartbeat. Some get points for creativity or creepiness over taste (i.e. gummies in the shape of human body parts). Others, like candy bodily fluids, are just downright gross. But they all step up Halloween’s candy game considerably.
Here are some weird, geeky and otherwise unique alternatives to your typical Halloween drugstore candy:
1) Creature Eye Lollipops
Sucking on T-Rex’s eyeball can be strangely appetizing.
Available at Designer Lollipop on Etsy. $16.95 for a pack of six.
2) Gummy Body Parts
A lovely variety of gummy vital organs and appendages.
Available on Candy Warehouse. $9.75 for a 65-piece bag.
3) Chocolate Covered Ant Candy
An alternative source of protein.
Available on Candy Warehouse. $58.60 for a pack of 24.
4) Day of the Dead Gummies
These Day of the Dead gummies can pull a double shift for both Dios de la Muerte and Halloween.
Available on Oriental Trading. $6.99 per pound.
5) Mummy Chocolate Halloween Lollipops
Mummified deliciousness on a stick.
The Sugar Barn
Available on the Sugar Barn at Etsy. $14 for a dozen.
6) Gummy Candy Skulls
These cherry-flavored gummy candy skulls aren’t spooky enough to be unappetizing.
Available on Amazon. $19.99 for two pounds.
6) Tie Dye Lollipops
Perfect to accompany your last-minute hippie costume.
Available on Blair Candy. $24 for a pack of 48.
7) Witch Hat Rings
Some bling to make you the envy of every witch in the coven.
Available on Candy Warehouse. $7.20 for a dozen.
8) Gummi Teeth
These gummies might distract you from the damage you’re doing to your actual pearly whites.
Available on Blair Candy. $14.50 for 4.4 pounds.
9) Candy Urine
Give these containers of sour liquid candy “urine” out on Halloween if you want trick or treaters to avoid you next year.
Available on Candy Warehouse. $10 for a pack of four.
10) Tequila Worm Lollipops
For those sticking to the Paleo diet, these tequila worm lollipops won’t disappoint.
Available on Candy Warehouse. $50.40 for a 36-piece pack.
11) Zombie Hand Gummy Lollipops
These zombie hand lollipops are smaller than actual hands, which is good news for your sugar intake.
Available on Candy Warehouse. $12 for a dozen.
12) Crime Scene Candy
These vials of candy bodily fluids will surely be popular with CSI fans. The candy blood is cherry-flavored, the candy saliva is apple-flavored, and the candy urine is (what else?) lemonade flavored.
Available on Candy Warehouse. $5 for a pack of three.
13) Star Wars Candy Lightsabers
In celebration of the new Star Wars film hitting theaters this winter, why not break out the candy lightsabers? Warning: Due to their hefty price tag, these M&M lightsabers are probably best to save for your favorite and/or actual kids.
Available on Party City. $64.99 for a dozen.
14) Mummy Nutter Butters
Sure, these Nutter Butters decorated as mummies aren’t technically candy, but being wrapped in white chocolate doesn’t really help matters.
Available on Pamelascakes on Etsy. $16.50 for a dozen.
15) Spider Chocolates
These chocolate spiders seem almost too beautifully hand-crafted to plant in someone’s hair. Almost.
Available at SweetNTreat Boutique on Etsy. $8 for a dozen.
16) Halloween Brownie Pops
This horde of Halloween-themed brownie pops seem tailor-made for your Instagram feed.
Available on Shari’s Berries. $29.99 for a pack of six.
Now you can be the talk of the trick-or-treating town with any combination of these delicious, sugar-filled edibles.
Photo via Designer Lollipop/Etsy
Amrita Khalid is a technology and politics reporter who specializes in breaking down complex issues into practical, useful terms. A former contributor to CQ, a Congressional news and analysis site, she's currently a master's candidate in international relations at the University of Leeds.