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‘And they ALWAYS pick the dirty table?! Why? How?’: Server shares how he ‘punishes’ guests who seat themselves

‘My favorite part is punishing people for poor behavior at the restaurant.’

Photo of Stacy Fernandez

Stacy Fernandez

Server shares how he 'punishes' guests who seat themselves

Listen up in case you’re also committing this dining-out faux pas and secretly getting hated on by restaurant staff.

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In a viral video, a server called out guests for bad behavior and revealed how he gets back at them.

You might have done this before without thinking too much of it. You get to a restaurant, and when nobody is immediately there to seat you, you figure you can just sit anywhere without a problem.

“There are plenty of tables open, no biggie,” you might think to yourself.

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Little do you know that you might have just ticked off your server before even getting one word out—and there will be consequences. Comedian and server Dylan Carlino shared how this affects staff in a viral video with more than 1.1 million views as of Sunday.

‘Poorly behaved’ diners

“As a waitress, my favorite part of my job is probably punishing people for poor behavior at the restaurant,” Carlino said.

When it comes to situations like the above, he has a specific way of handling it to get under customers’ skin and waste their time.

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If people just sat themselves wherever they’d like, Carlino said he lets them sit there for sometimes 20 minutes. As their annoyance grew, they’d flag down a server and state that no one had come to wait on their table.

Once Carlino makes his way over to them, he’d fake surprise that they hadn’t been helped. The comedian pointed out that often, these self-seaters pick the dirtiest table to sit at, so he’ll mess with them and feign confusion.

“There’s dirty plates, what are you talking about,” he’ll say sarcastically. “You guys already ate.”

Again with the sarcastic tone and obvious chastise, he’ll ask the self-seaters if they just came in and sat without first talking to a staff member.

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“That’s not how restaurants work,” he tells them. “Get up. We have to go talk to the hostess, there’s a 30-minute wait.”

Carlino ended the video with this nugget: “Job title: Server. Job duties: Judge, jury executioner.”

@dylanpcarlino As a waitress #comedy #server #restaurant #serverlife ♬ original sound – Dylan

Viewers weigh in

People in the comments section of Carlino’s video had a lot to say.

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“My favorite is pretending to be OUTRAGED that a host sat them in such a manner until they reveal they sat themselves,” a person wrote.

“Conversely I will loudly praise the table next to bad ones for their patience, bring out a free app and thank them for being kind etc so the bad table can see them get it,” another shared.

“Love this. It’s like Super Nanny for grownups,” a commenter joked.

And Carlino isn’t the only food worker getting his revenge on customers. In another video, a server added a $52 surcharge to a table’s bill for “having an attitude.”

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One bartender purposefully took terrible group photos for a table that left zero tip on a $115 bill. And a pizza maker burned the pepperoni on a non-tipper’s pizza.

The Daily Dot reached out to Carlino for comment via Instagram and TikTok direct message.

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