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‘Why do people sign up if they don’t want friends?’: Bumble BFF user gets stood up on her first date. It’s a growing problem on the app

‘Making friends in your twenties is so hard for what.’

Photo of Maya Wray

Maya Wray

Woman talking(l+r), Bumble app on phone(c)

A woman’s viral lament after being ghosted by a potential new friend she met via Bumble BFF has young adults reflecting on the struggle to find friends in the digital age. 

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TikToker Taylor (@maddtay) filmed her video in her car on the night of her date, revealing that she had shown up to the agreed-upon coffee shop on time after not hearing from her date all day.

She had looked forward to meeting the woman since confirming their plans through the app four days prior. In her video, which has been viewed over 177,900 times since it was first posted on Jan. 21, Taylor said she believed they “had a lot in common.” 

“She went to school to do animal science, and I used to be a vet tech. She’s a local, and we’re around the same age,” Taylor shared, adding that she had recently moved across the country and had no friends in the area except for her boyfriend. “The conversation was good; the vibes were good.”

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On the afternoon of their date, Taylor said she messaged the woman to confirm that they would still meet up but did not receive a response.

“In my mind, I already have this feeling that she’s not coming,” she said in her TikTok. “So I get ready. I have full makeup on, and I’m totally ready to put myself out there and make new friends.”

The last time she had opened the Bumble BFF app was at 3 p.m., she said. When she checked again after arriving at the “slammed” coffee shop, her date’s account was no longer active.

“You really couldn’t tell me that you didn’t want to go and hang out with me anymore?” Taylor wondered aloud in her video. “I set aside my entire Saturday night. Not that I have a popping social life, but I put in the effort to make friends.”

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It was her first time using an online site to meet new people. In her video, she said she “didn’t know how else to make friends at this point,” a sentiment echoed by many of her viewers.

“I’m going to keep trying, but to anyone that’s also trying to make friends in their twenties and is having a really hard time, me too,” she said before ending her TikTok. 

@maddtay Making friends in your twenties is so hard for what #bumblebff #vlog #makingnewfriends #makingfriendsasadults #makingfriendsinyour20s #bumblebffstorytime ♬ original sound – Taylor

Viewers shared their own disappointing experiences with the Bumble BFF app in the video’s comments section. “We talked for weeks met up and went to a bar we ordered drinks and apps I went to the bathroom I came back and she had left,” user @magnificently_cursed revealed, stating in a separate comment that the only thing their friend date left them with was the hefty bar tab.

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“Some girlies were actually really sweet and planned group outings, others put zero effort and wanted me to plan every single thing, down to not even googling the brunch places,” another commenter recalled about their Bumble BFF experience.

One-sided planning effort was a common complaint among hopeful users, as well as dry conversations and focuses on romantic relationships rather than platonic ones. 

“Bumble bff is hard,” one viewer sympathized with Taylor. “i felt like i was always putting in all the effort to drive the convos & try to make plans. i ended up just not using it anymore.” 

“I tried bumble bff as a guy but every dude wanted to try and hook up like bro i just wanted a friend,” another revealed. 

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The Daily Dot reached out to Taylor via TikTok direct message.

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