Ted Cruz’s fauxlibuster tangents, ranked by germaneness

Where can you find references to Star Wars, White Castle, and Dr. Seuss all in one place? On the floor of the United States Senate, of course.

As of Wednesday morning, Republican Texas Senator Ted Cruz is still delivering a painstakingly lengthy address in protest of funding for President Obama’s healthcare bill. Technically, his speech—which has now lasted 20 hours, from 2:41pm September 24 through the night and into the morning of September 25—is not a filibuster, as it will not delay or prevent the voting.

Thanks to C-SPAN2’s live broadcast of the proceedings, Cruz’s ramblings, at times confusing and borderline nonsensical, are preserved for history.

Cruz shows off his Twitter skills by reading tweets hashtagged with #DefundObamacareBecause.

Germaneness: 5

Obama is Darth Vader.

Germaneness: 1

Ted Cruz’s Speech Goes to White Castle. Maybe the next one will escape from Guantanamo.

Germaneness to Obamacare: 0 

Ted Cruz bids his children a good night by reading the entirety of Dr. Seuss’s Green Eggs and Ham. (And he totally misses the point of the book.)

Germaneness: –2

Finally, what speech would be complete without a reference to Nazi Germany?

Germaneness: –4

Screengrab via MyEEnVideos/YouTube

Mike Fenn

Mike Fenn

Mike Fenn is a former contributor to the Daily Dot whose beats included Reddit, YouTube, and all things WTF. His work has also appeared in Forbes and News.com.au.