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Arch-conservative queen Ann Coulter enjoyed a big day on social media Friday, thanks to her somewhat surprising snarls in the president’s direction. Over several tweets, she blasted the President Donald Trump’s decision to declare a national emergency over border wall funding.
No, the goal of a national emergency is for Trump to scam the stupidest people in his base for 2 more years. https://t.co/6DQSkqxV8h— Ann Coulter (@AnnCoulter) February 15, 2019
But someone should probably tell Coulter to update her Twitter bio. As one astute tweeter noticed, where she attempts to direct users to her Instagram profile, the bio links to the parody Twitter account @realanncounter. The very-not-real Coulter account features a few dozen, um, questionable 10-year-old tweets.
Though @realanncoulter only tweeted 29 times over a period of three days in late October 2009, some of the quips contain straight-up internet gold.
“Flickin’ the bean, eating pigs feet and watching Divorce Court,” states the unequivocal winner of the bunch.
Some of the account’s best work came in the form of tweets at celebrities.
To Chelsea Handler, then the host of Chelsea Lately, it says, “I sold my soul at a charity auction and immediately blew the auctioneer, and threw a period blood filled balloon at a child.”
“Do you think your new perfume will help get a man within 50 yards of me?” it asks of Pam Anderson.
Responding to Demi Moore, who was married to Ashton Kutcher at the time, it says, “Reminds me of a time I drank a liter of Cuervo and fought a 6ft 5 Mexican to the death. After, I wore his head around like a mask.”
To Ellen Degeneres’ show’s account, @realanncoulter wrote, “I hurt so much inside, I have an undying love for you, and its the forbidden nature of this love that fuels my hatred and rage.”
Not even John Mayer was safe from the wrath of the Coulter imposter, which said to him, “I couldn’t make my voice as high pitched as yours if I deepthroated a helium tank whole and let you kick me in the balls.”
Rather incredibly, some users have responded to the account as recently as Friday, apparently without realizing that it is a fake. It seems they weren’t tipped off by the facts that the account isn’t verified, has roughly 2,600 followers (Coulter has more than 2 million), hasn’t been active in nearly a decade, and has a bio that reads, “You thought Jesse Helms died….nope he just got a sex change and face lift.”
Perhaps it’s not so bad if the real Coulter never figures it out.
Claire Goforth is a Jacksonville, Florida-based journalist covering politics, culture, justice, and unicorns. Her work has appeared in publications ranging from regional alt-weeklies to Al Jazeera.