Young woman in bar with caption 'i'm on a first date. i got here early and got a drink, and opened a tab. my date got here, we ordered drinks, and he said 'we're together'. Now he is generously (and unknowingly) running up a huge tab on my debit card. Send help.' over bar bottle background

thanosquest/Shutterstock @dusti_____/TikTok (Licensed)

‘He is GENEROUSLY (and unknowingly) running up a huge tab on my debit card’: Woman says date accidentally ordered drinks on her tab, sparking debate

‘Send help.’


Jack Alban


A TikToker said her well-intentioned first date told the bartender the two of them “were together” when ordering drinks, not knowing that she arrived early and started a tab for herself on her debit card.

TikToker @dusti_____ posted a now-viral clip about the experience, writing in a text overlay over a short video clip of her face at what looks like a bar. The sound she uses for her clip comes from a scene from The Office, in which Michael Scott screams, “I declare bankruptcy!”

@dusti_____ #dating #datingstruggle #sendhelp #bankruptcy ♬ original sound – imadamkahati

“I’m on a first date. I got here early and got a drink, and opened a tab. My date got here, we ordered drinks and he said, ‘we’re together.’ Now he is GENEROUSLY (and unknowingly) running up a huge tab on my debit card. Send help,” @dusti_____ penned in a text overlay.

Several commenters offered up ways the woman could notify her date of her tab.

“I would say ‘I might just pay for my tab now so I know how much it’s at’ that way you’re closing the tab and hopefully he will offer to pay his half,” one said.

“Just stop it and stand up for yourself,” another urged.

A third noted that communication is key.

“Just say ‘oh hey I have a tab open. Do you wanna split it at the end, or do you want to start your own?’ or something to that effect,” they wrote.

Another encouraged the TikToker to loop in the server.

“I would ‘go to the bathroom’ and ask the waitress to ‘accidentally’ give you separate bills,” they said.

Others addressed the fact that there were some commenters who tried turning the woman’s attempt at expressing the uncomfortable situation she was in as an attempt to get the man to pay for all of her drinks.

“You literally said YOU started a tab, why are men on here saying you expected him to pay when YOU STARTED YOUR OWN TAB,” one said.

“It’s beyond me honestly. These men are wild in these comments,” @dusti_____ responded.

“All the men in here assuming that she wants him to pay for her drinks when in reality she just wants him to pay for his own. On a first date no less,” another said.

Going out to drink can cost folks a lot of money. While the U.S. only ranks 75th in the world when it comes to the alcohol price index, with the cost of booze in places like Bahrain, Iran, Iceland, Singapore, Bermuda, and Norway charging obscene amounts of money for spirits and brews, one can still rack up a sizable bar tab in the states fairly quickly depending on where they’re drinking.

Elite Singles posted a study about the economics of first dates. Only 2% of 30,000 men from an anonymous report stated they wanted women to pay for a first date. Five percent of women said they had no problem with picking up the tab.

The Daily Dot has reached out to @dusti_____ on TikTok for further comment.

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