Photo via Steve Johnson/Flickr (CC-BY)
With Thanksgiving quickly approaching, let this dude’s embarrassing tale on Reddit serve as a valuable lesson: “NEVER have your drugs in the family fridge.”
Redditor Dreamblook noticed after it was too late that his mother had used his “high quality cannabutter" to make a chicken dinner, apparently mistaking it for vegan butter. With about 45 minutes before the effects kicked in, he turned to Reddit’s weed hub, r/Trees, for some desperate advice—then proceeded to essentially liveblog the entire evening.
It reads like an awkward but hilariously bad script for a stoner comedy, as our protagonist works through phases of guilt and embarrassment.
A few of the half-baked highlights:
- “My mother just asked me if there was anything wrong with my vegan butter. I decided to tell her it was really old, so they will all just think they have food poisoning or something.”
- “Wtf guys my uncle is barely affected and laughs his ass off every time he looks at me. I think he knows.”
- “Ok so my uncle definitely knows. He noticed what it was when he ate it,but he didn't say anything about it for whatever fucking reason intill after everyone ate it. He approached my dad about it,Who said he had no idea but that my mom used my "vegan butter". So my uncle told him what was up,so that is why my father has not been freaking out.My father is slightly more liberal about drugs then I thought,apparently he smoked in high school but still didn't recognize the taste. He is the type who likes Ronald Regan and Donald Trump so I'm kinda surprised. My father keeps trying to get pissed and scold at me,but the weed is preventing him from being mad for more then 30 seconds. My sister has locked herself in her room since after dinner so I assume/hope she is just sleeping. My mother on the other hand (Who 100% has never done any drugs, including alcohol/coffee/cigs) has been freaking out pretty bad.She has been having a intense existential crisis. I can get into more details about that later. She is greening out at this point and just threw up. I'm hoping that she puked some of the THC out. But it could have already absorbed into her body idk. My uncle has been doing a pretty great job at talking her down and convincing her to ride it out (She still thinks it is food poisoning)Some of you guys don't understand that my mother CAN NOT KNOW SHE TOOK WEED .It would make the situation 100x worse. I will keep you guys updated if anything interesting happens.”
Things took a disaster turn after Dreamblook went to sleep, the comedy giving way to surreal tragedy:
So my sister woke up and thought she was dying, so she called 911 and then an ambulance came to the house. Reddit was wrong she wasn't masturbating. I don't really know 100% what exactly what happened during this time as I was sleeping.
The cops woke me up and told me that my uncle told the EMT people that she was high. The EMT people took her to the hospital anyways and also called the cops over. They arrested my uncle on a felony possession charge (I live in a really harsh place for this). Because he had his own weed on him. I guess he also took the fall for my sister accidentally getting high. I can't really confirmed any of this because the cops told me and I don't trust the police now a days.
Dreamblook claims that his parents kicked him out of the house before he could even grab some clothes or his laptop. He says he’s currently hanging out at a gas station, contemplating his next move.
Of course, it’s difficult to verify the details of his story. The poster didn’t want to share his name or location for obvious reasons, so you’ll have to take his story with a grain of salt—just be sure to avoid the butter.