Screen_Shot_2016-05-18_at_5.37.23_PM.png (1433×681)

Screengrab via Minions Parody/YouTube

Why, god?

This article contains explicit material and may be NSFW.

I actually have a reasonable explanation as to how I found this video. If you write for the Daily Dot, you’re gonna spend a lot of time sifting through some seriously awful Internet content. These are the sacrifices we make to keep the Google Analytics cranking, and we wouldn’t change it for a second.

So, for other reasons we don’t have to talk about right now, I was looking at Minions-flavored parody songs, and after sitting through a particularly trite Minions version of Maroon 5’s “Sugar” (which is literally “Sugar” chipmunked up an octave, with nothing else changed), I decided to scope out my man’s other videos. That’s when I found this thing, which is without a doubt the most enthralling cultural artifact on the internet.

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HOLY SHIT FAM. I can only break this down in bullet points.
  • Apparently you can buy multiple kinds of adult-size Minions underwear. This changes the booty-video industrial complex forever.

  • It’s hilarious that this has 1,000 views and more dislikes than likes. I guess the only way to get an ass downvoted is if it comes with a tacit Minions endorsement.

  • I have no idea what this song is, but I love that it includes a link to a Minions parody of “Hello,” which is probably the only thing you could conceivably watch after this.

And, OK, let’s address the elephant in the room: It’s a good butt.

Watching this video reminded me of going to 4chan when I was 15 and seeing some truly psychosexual pornography that coerced me to masturbate and cry at the same time. I’m pretty jaded now, at least to the more extreme stuff, but the hot Minions ass confused me in an almost nostalgic way. I’m not sure that’s the point, but it’s plenty effective, and this is absolutely a video I’ll send unsuspecting friends until the end of time.

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