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Photo via rosepettal28/Flickr (CC-BY 2.0)

Crime of the century.

Dogs are a very special kind of animal. Unlike cats, who are standoffish, or bears, who can’t be house trained, dogs will be there for you through the good times as well as the hard times. And, more often than not, your dog will sense when you’re feeling down and give you a little bit of canine love that you desperately need in your life.

After a long day of work, there’s nothing better than opening your door, seeing your precious dog, and getting unconditional love until you feel the effects of your soul-crushing job slowly dissipate into thin air. Your dog is yours, and yours only, and no one else deserves them but you.
So why did this monstrous child think it was OK for him to sneak into someone’s garage and hug a dog that is not his own?
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He was probably on his way home from school when he spotted the beautiful pup in an open garage. Excited that he could hug a dog that didn’t belong to him, he hopped off of his bike, ran towards the dog, unlawfully acted like he and the dog were bros, and ran off faster than Usain Bolt before the dog’s owners could place him under citizen’s arrest.
Just who is this dastardly dog-affection thief—and why does he think he can go around bestowing his gentle, innocent kindness on other people’s animals? Does he not have a dog of his own to play fetch with? How did he get away from the crime scene so fast?  If you have any info on his whereabouts, please contact 1-900-GET-THAT-KID. 

Update 4:45pm CT, June 7: The kid's name is Josh, and he's not actually in trouble, but we've got our eye on him.

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It seems like something out of One Sentence Startup Pitches , a 16,000+ strong Facebook group committed to mocking every half-baked elevator pitch out there. Hell, the group's cover photo is a Photoshopped image of Mark Zuckerberg in front of a video wall emblazoned with the phrase "Facebook for dogs."
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