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5th-grader has smart list of rules for thirsty boy who won’t let her be

‘Do not speak to me unless it’s a greeting, which will be never.’


Nayomi Reghay

Internet Culture

Back-to-school season of course means no more wild summer fun. Classroom rules and grading policies become the norm, and kids learn quickly that it’s time to fall in line.

But if you’re one 5th-grade girl, it also means making your own set of rules.

Twitter user @WhosDenverJones shared a savage note from a teacher friend whose student Zoë put some serious “rules and regulations” in place for a would-be nuisance who just can’t take seem to take a hint and leave her alone.

The offending party is Noah, a boy rendered in Zoë’s note as a feeble stick-figure who can’t figure out that she’s not interested. Zoë’s message for Noah is loud and clear: Girls do not like having their shoulders touched, nor do we responded well to “getting behind [us] with all that playing and foolishness.”

Zoë’s rules really spell it out for Noah. Especially rule number three, where she indicates that Noah should not speak to her ever “unless it’s a greeting, which will be never.”

And if he doesn’t understand the message, Zoë’s got that covered too, as her directions instruct him to “reread 500 times.”

The internet is proud of young Zoë. She’s not afraid to tell a boy what’s what. Her note has earned over 2,000 RTs and plenty of praise.

So next time some dude’s making you feel icky at the office, don’t grin and bear it. Just ask yourself: “What would Zoë do?”

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The Daily Dot